my past is marred by your present,
my thoughts forever changed,
what i thought it was,
versus reality.

no one is perfect...
however the one you believe to be
falls so hard,
killing your expectations,
making you doubt yourself...
what is hope when it is lost?
how is it redeemed?
can it be redeemed?

i will not know answers,
to you and me,
or to if and why..
to when and now..
i only know now,
and what i wished never to know.

but we must persevere,
because life has no waiting rooms,
we are forced to move at a fast pace,
with only brief glances behind us,
to wonder,
to grieve,
to learn,
but then we are looking forward again,
into the inevitable void that is the future,
don't look down,
don't look back,
keep moving forward.

and so i wait,
*for my turn to look forward.

i am deleting you from my thoughts,
erasing you from my memory.
removing every piece of you i had,
scattered throughout my world,
a world you never desired to live in.
i am taking steps back,
slowly drifting away,
but your back is turned and you are smiling,
you will not care,
because you will not notice.

i tried
to fall again,
to open up,
but i was scared,
so i put up my walls,
enclosed myself in loneliness,
left you on the outside,
forever wondering.
just know i'm on the inside,
still trying to find a way out...
knowing i'll only escape
to no one

Oh you silly fool,
thinking that love could save you from despair,
from darkness.
You see I am the one that controls you,
You silly fool,
Thinking you could escape me,
my emotions bind you,
my power will rule you,
There is no way out,
For I am *eternal

How do I fix this?
The shattered remains of an imperfect relationship?
Tell me what tools to use,
I will work for hours,
Rebuild those walls that enclosed us,
My hands will bleed,
My body will sweat,
But it will be worth it in the end,
Because I will have you again.