You caught me with your eyes,
Catching glances like butterflies.
I was yours that very first night,
Even though we went home as strangers
And you had someone else to hold you tight.
In my dreams there lurked a danger,
Of your perfect smile, whetting my appetite.
By chance, you were thrown into my life
And I finally had the courage to take what it is I find,
Like your heart reaching out towards mine,
When our hands tangled with time.
And boy, did time do a number
Made us colder when we slumber
Made you search over and under
For a new one to call lover.
Cover me with lies, and let me go to sleep blind
I think I only cry when I realize you can’t be mine
So hold me close to your lips, so they brush in a kiss
When you whisper to me, everything I’ll come to miss
Like the fading bliss, when you leave me in the mist
At home I’ll sit, waiting to feel your comfortable skin.
I love you more than anything I’ve known,
Your face is a home and you’re rooted into my bones
I long to hold you until we’re blanketed in mold,
Forever in your arms, even when I am alone.

-SLuR

i’m a tree falling in the forest
with no one around
and i’m loud as ****

I received a re-invitation email this morning. A ‘come on, why don’t you want to?’ note that struck me as odd. See, I’ve been ‘tapped’ for a couple of final clubs at Yale. It can happen if you earn top grades and interact easily with male friends by day (the crew club scene is ol’ school patriarchal).

Three of my roommates have been tapped - for one thing or another. The upper-crust, traditional networks and secret societies are a huge part of why young men and women choose Ivy League schools.

I’m not talking about frats - I enjoy flippant misogyny as much as the next breasted-American and really, does “Yo bruh,” sloppy binge drinking, and ****** assault ever really get old? Yeah, it kind-of does.

And I’m not talking about the more open and popular ‘eating clubs’ - no - I’m on-about the elite social orders that enjoy a subversive and exclusive appeal.

Some students desperately want to be ‘IN’ and believe those memberships prove they’ve somehow ‘made it’. Let’s face it, someday - if you can’t actually earn it - that skull & bones handshake might open some doors.

I’ve attended a few meetings, meals, and parties in “tombs” (in upstairs libraries and houses) around New Haven, but I guess I’m just not a ‘joiner.’ Groucho Marx once said that he wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have someone like him as a member, maybe that’s it for me too.

Anyway, this harangue is sponsored by the glower that that silly email put on my face.
“What’s the matter?” Leeza asked, seeing my expression.
It reminded me of watching people ****-up and ‘social mountain climb’ to get into my grandmère’s (boring) circle. If your club is so exclusive (email sender), why on God’s confused earth would you want me?

Hey, I like parties, dances and hanging out with eskimos - but I'm a pre-med student and the time/value equation just doesn't stack up for me - I’ve got the M-CAT tests next summer and prepping for those has taken over my life.

It’s ironic though, how by day students at Yale go-on about ‘elitism’ - in stylized outrage - and then by night they strain to join these crew clubs.

slang...
final clubs = elite clubs and secret societies
eskimos - really cool people
crew = elite (crewing is seen as a sport for the elite)

This loss
This waste without regret
This I wouldn’t trade for the world
This I can’t leave alone
This I crave for my being

It’s special, it’s ours

We won’t talk about it, we never will
But when I see you again
Will my eyes do nothing but well
Will my knees crumble with relief and love
Will I scream out for you
Will it hurt any less the next time we leave?

In another life in another time
You don’t leave and neither do I
And we stay and we build and we live
And that’s enough for both of us

Viewed through a shallow liquid
Your beauty is blurred
Or is something else
Blurred into Beauty

Is the shallow liquid
Tears or tea or tequila
And the viewer
Hidden in a nest

Of deeper imaginings
That is to say shallow
you smile and elbow on
As if this aligned with

Feeling that feeling that way
Sorry
Feeling this way
Pinballing your way here

Riccocheting off raw nows
to some any other numb now
where opinions leap filling
spaces with instant foam

At the mouth of who r u
again really still why
Aren't you quite weary
The soldiering on

I don't wish to be in
Your regiment or mine
This discovery Sublime
Capitals not mine