i wait
expectantly
willing you
to look my way
you are the only one
i've noticed
across a room
full of uninteresting
people
your smile
poked me
i turned
and there you were
now i wait
eager
for that one glance
because when our eyes lock
i will try
and reel you in.

Falling in love is dangerous. For when you fall in love, you pay a price. A price so unrealistic that you simply cannot pull out your checkbook and write down "here is my everything, please handle with care, very fragile" and expect it to cover the debt. No. You give your heart and your soul. Your mind is always cluttered with thoughts of them. Your body tingles when you hear their voice. You become addicted and you expect more and more, so you keep paying until one day, there's nothing left. You're completely theirs and your definition of home…begins with their name.

And just thinking about that is terrifyingly beautiful. Something could happen, and all that will be left of you are tears and a cracked voice to match the holes that cover the walls. Now there is no place to call home, you gave them everything. Someday you will be asked the question of what they returned and you'll reply: "they gave enough to make it seem like a lifetime of happiness, and more importantly, that feeling of love…was infinite."

In the end, there would be pain and you knew this, but you still them your all. You are stronger than you think and believe me when I say you will regain your all back.

Falling in love is dangerous, but you cannot stop it, you cannot slow it down, and you cannot escape it. So it's understandable to be scared, but just know it's okay to take that fall…especially for him.

I know what to say
Just not how to say it.

I don’t  remember the last time I kissed a galaxy,
I don’t remember what it feels like to be seen.
I can’t remember the last time I touched a star,
So darling, let’s go stargazing.

The sun wants to know how you light up the night,
The moon wants to know how you glow, it’s amazing.
I want to know how you burn so bright,
So darling, let’s go stargazing.

Only Jupiter holds a storm like your heart,
Only the stars give you worthy praising.
The space in between us is far too great,
So darling, let’s go stargazing.

The night sky holds all of our dreams,
The morning sun will soon be raising.
I don’t think I've seen a star shine like your eyes,
So darling, let’s go stargazing.

There’s a place I know where we could never go,
But it’s the most beautiful place I've seen.
And there's no one I’d rather take than you,
So darling, let’s go stargazing.

If you take me apart,
Shred me to pieces,
You'll find pieces of him everywhere.

On my arms are
Chains of his words,
Whispered into my ears,
Spells to get me through the worst.

On my legs,
Distances,
Time zones away from you,
How to get to you
Engrained into my feet's memory.

In my head,
The music notes play
Like children in the park,
They dance around,
Merrily, joyfully to your smile,
And are melancholy when you cry.

In my lungs,
Every breath is filled with you.
Inhale all you,
Exhale all of me.

On my skin,
Warmth a lit all across,
Little bonfires every where,
Sparks trailing down my skin
Tickling, tingling.
It takes away all the cold I shivered from before.

In my heart,
Your happiness.

I stole you and put you in a little cage
Inside my heart.
No,
It's not a prison,
(At least I hope not)
But when you hurt,
The cage inside my heart,
It feels it.
It feels your pain
And resonates it throughout the rest of me.

It hurts.
It hurts so ******* much.
A jolt of too much bad electricity gone wrong bursting to life flowing in and out of my veins,
Fire coursing through,
Burning me inside out,
And don't even get me started on what happens on the outside.

Cause on the outside baby,
That's where it hits hardest.

It's this pain that will cause me to wail,
Toss my head back in agony,
And to scream like a banshee.

But that's beside the point.

Just...
Stay safe.
I care.
It hurts.

Monday:
You visited me. I want to say it was because you loved me but even I know it was just because you had a kind heart and just wanted me to start going to school again. You smiled. But it seemed... Fake
You left and all I noticed was that you avoided using your left arm. And when you did, you cringed in pain.

Tuesday:
I called you. You picked up. You sounded exhausted. You just wanted to sleep. I knew you were lying but I hung up anyway.

Wednesday:
I saw you after school. You avoided my gaze. You had two cuts under your eye and your knuckles were bruised and bloodied. You "tripped". Ran through a forest like area and "tripped". I'm sick of the lies.

Thursday:
Something is wrong. Horribly wrong. You said you needed to do something for someone special. I could guess who that was. I didn't see you after that.

Friday:
I know something is wrong. You flinched when I touched your shoulder as I greeted you. Your lower leg was bandaged and the white bandage was a dark black. I'm worried. Your glasses were chipped. You weren't resting well either. You had serious dark circles and a crazed look. You seemed almost like a zombie.
You left. And didn't answer my calls after that. I hate you.

Liar.
Liar Liar Liar
LIAR...
I hate you

Scrape the safety out of my eyes
Let the tears wallow, watch me cry
She saw my wrists and laughed at me
I've "cursed myself" is what she believes

She never understood
My favorite type of art
Tells me it's evil work
And I'm breaking her heart

Ancient tongue we no longer speak
Upon my skin in chants to preach
Simple font in words concrete
I write about the things I've seen