“i’m not sure how long it’s going to last though. we tried to fix things but she’s being so distant recently”

i nod my head

inside that head i’m begging things to fall apart so i can have you

i almost had a midlife crisis and dyed my hair a soft baby pink

it woulda been pretty

pair it with a tattoo under my eye

a broken heart on one side

a sparkling star on the other

but then i thought to myself, it’s not exactly a midlife crisis if i’m only 16

more of a quarter life crisis

not nearly as dramatic

so i settled for painting my nails pink instead

the good weeks and the bad ones
they flow like a current
sometimes your temper is choppy
drowning me
beating me
against rocks and sand

other times it is gentle
and pulls me lovingly out to sea
i think i can trust the waters
i feel safe

and soon after
i am thrown against the cliffs
again

how much longer
till i am dragged below the surface
by a fierce whirlpool
sunk against the bottom
breath gone
eyes blurry
never to be seen again

please
please stop

i’d really appreciate it

you’re hurting me
i don’t like it

please stop

Behind her eyes I can see
Inside her heart and in her soul
Her veins and all her bones
All are painted gold