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 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
No one
Blood
 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
No one
Nothing can satisfy my hunger
For human suffering;
Not even me.

So once again,
I break myself down,
Hoping to feel

Something,
Anything,
To remind me of my humanity.

Or lack thereof.
Pain is the only comfort I know.
I can’t say I’m taking my heart into my own hands
Despite all the ifs buts and ands
I have no heart left
Somehow sneaking in to get away with the theft
Everyone bites off a piece for themselves
Like wild animals or greedy little elves
and no one considers the pain it causes me
Whether or not the caged bird can fly free
There’s nothing left of my heart
Everyone got their share and tore me apart
And I have nothing left to give
I’m a hollow shell with no reason to live
My rib cage is empty and the door is opened wide
With each “I love you” I know they all lied
I’m empty now like the once full sky
Laying here wondering when and how I’ll die
 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
Barker
I see you standing there
I can see the pain masked by a smile
I can see how broken you are

I want to help you
I want to make you feel wanted
I want to make you happy

But I don't know how
I don't know what to do
I don't know how to act

I wish I could help you
I want to help you
I can help you

I've been through this
I know how this works
I know how I got through this

Maybe I can heal those scars on your wrist
I just want you to open up
I need you to open up

I know that it is hard
I understand what this means
I might not understand completely

I can try to understand
I will understand
I just need you to trust me

Please
Let Me
Help You

Don't
Shut Me
Out
(c)ibarker

For the one who has my heart
She
She puts a smile on her face every morning,
to make peoples day,
She typed laughing emojis when its very much killing her inside,
She, the one people see who is always cheerful,
is the one who always cries quietly at night,
afraid to wake her peacefully sleeping sister,
She, the one who has beautiful dreams,
the dreams she think would never happen,
She always stare out the window,
music in her ears,
the cloud cries with her,
trying to blow away the overthinks,
seats she wished that weren’t empty,
remain unoccupied,
she doesn’t understand the lonesome she felt,
she just wants a shoulder to cry on,
but it’s her pillow that was soaked,
as she felt no one is listening,
so she stopped trying to talk,
doing what she do best,
bottling everything up.
 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
Way Rest
To win recognition
The love of my peers
Their words-now my word
Their battles-now my battles
My friends, their enemies-now my enemies
In so doing I won
Fame, flattery ,friends, fans
Yet, I lost one
One most precious–My soul.

So now when I look
At that silver screen
That pitiless creature
A visage I see
One tired of fake expressions
And empty emotions
A barren world of crags and cracks
Hidden beneath pretention and paint

This visage is not of mine but one of theirs
And I am it's bearer

Now I see a child
Among giants it walks
A mortal among gods
A god among mortals
Fearless in its visage
It follows itself and none other
Its face is jubilant with a light
A light of innocent wisdom--
Of righteous anger
It is a fertile world, lovely
With colours of life

Its words-the soul's song.
 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
stargazer
They weren't always my demons
They started out as my friends
 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
Way Rest
Sitting in a room all alone
Curtains down, darkness abound.
Head down,only one sound.
Of weeping, of gasping
All else,silence.

Weeping, weeping
Seeking,seeking
For a shadow
Not of your own
Sitting in a room all alone.

Longing a touch
Familiar yet foreign
In your dreams you feel it
When you wake you miss it.
Sitting in a room all alone

When you sit all alone
On a park bench and you're shown
A happy couple floating by
Tangled in innocent violence like kites in the sky.
You hear it, the voice.

This voice you adore
This voice you abhor
This voice which haunts you
This voice which taunts you

This voice you seek
In the darkness you weep
No voice, no sleep
Sitting in a room all alone.

Then a rustle
A mild shuffle
A sound oh so muffled
A sound not of weeping
But  of feet skipping.

Then a voice
That voice you adore
That voice you abhor
That voice which taunts you
That voice which haunts you

You hear it
You fear it
What if it's a dream
Sitting in a room all alone
You scream

The voice says, " I'm here don't worry"
Says, " For being away so long I'm sorry"
Then that touch
That chills and burns
Your heart writhes and turns
That touch oh so familiar yet foreign.


"It is you" You say
"My love, my dove"
"Yes it is I " the voice says


Weeping, weeping
But nay not of grief
Weeping, weeping
Of joy and relief.


Sitting in a room
Curtains down
Darkness abound
Two shadows intertwine
"I am yours and you are mine"
 Jun 2018 Charlie Black
Way Rest
I have lived
Never been loved
Been slapped and shoved

I bear the marks
The scratches , the bruises

I remember, the broken bones
The many moans
Sticks and stones
Ceaseless

I remember the whip
The skin it would rip
The smell of ***
I went numb

Face stained with tears
Fears have quelled over the years

Now only this remains
Only one thing to do

Knife in hand
Shaking hand
Tired hand

Knife is heavy
It will be easier
A small cut is all I need
Then I'll be freed
Forever
At last

Deep breath
One of my last
A smile
Knife straight
Cut,cut, long ,cut
Pains, Hurts
It bursts
The vein

Blood, blood peeks
From the straight cut it leaks
Red,I see it
I taste it

Makes me sleepy
Like a soft kiss on the lips
A pure taste
Taste of life
Taste of death
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