"If, to me, you’ll reach when low,"

Says the Spirit,

"I’ll help you grow."

"If your wounds you'll let me heal,"

Says the Spirit,

"I'll give you zeal."

"If through me you’ll seek and try,"

Says the Spirit,

"I’ll raise you high."

Her room is painted white.
A blank canvas.
Whispers fill my ears, of all her
Possibilities.
She is not me.
I have to remind myself.
Empty of memories,
Full of furniture.
I can see her growing here.
My little girl.
One day these coos and cries,
Will change to words.
She’ll sing songs instead,
Of lullabies.
I’ll savor every moment.
Every sweet little song.
In this room,
With the white walls.

I'm ready to shoot, hand me the pistol *** I'm ****** all the time
These issues are deeper than an Adam's apple so take a bite of Adam's apple, that was the world's first crime
I hid myself so much my sanity was the only thing the seeker couldn't find
I made contract for my life but the liability waiver was never signed
I'm lost in these thoughts undoubtedly trapped in my own mind
Just waiting for the stars and planets to become aligned
Since things naturally don't go right although a stitch in time saves nine
But its all like Amanda on drugs, that life's the only thing she couldn't Byne
I'm brain dead to reality you could call that a cerebral ******
I'm trying to bend the facts but I just keep saying "insert girder"
I tried to dance life away so I took lessons from Tina at Bob's Burger
But I still seem to be invisible in plain sight like telling you what the hell is a Berber
I'm just rambling out words to hide the old love in my eyes
Since I was stuck in the past searching for an ex-her-size
And if you looked into my eyes two months ago I could tell you I loved to despise
A relationship til I caught an angel with no lies or disguise
I always wondered what life would be like if both my grandfathers never died
I met one at his funeral and the other had a demolition dirby crash because the other guy didn't read the driver's hand guide
I'd give a lot to see them and what they were like they'd be the ones I confide
The feelings of my past pain and agony, let then know how I was trapped in the rough seas with high tide
I often believed my eyes drip dropped because every drop eye dripped was a waterfall of mental issues
If you thought Squidward was bad when he sang boys who cry then I'm gonna four ply for these eyes no other tissues
I used to take happiness for granted well at least that was my excuse
To stay in the darkness of my shadows because I couldn't even reach silver with my super sonic level of abuse
Corruption is nothing but a stain on my shirt and memory lane is just about an aisle down from my rebirth
I didn't think I could make it this far after being imprisoned behind the suicidal bars and my lack of self worth
I wasn't too fond of my father so I adopted father time and it was mother's nature to act like my mother earth
But sometimes I think this life being born was but a broken condomn that couldn't break the return the slab curse
Its been a while since I've had a depressing memory but thank GOD its still that way
I'm still trying to walk on my ten toes so I could tip toe through the Garden of Eden when its my time and day
But sin weighs me down and I live off of these unhealthy murderous thoughts and sometimes forget to pray
Good thing I'm still in my youth pushing it to the limit like Corbin Bleu would say
I have at least eight more lines left so let's keep the heat running at a ten
Watch what light enters your eyes because my fire could damage your retina and shatter your lens
Leaving you with distorted images like capturing Kodak, black and white pictures will be the new trend
If your not laughing yet take a sip of this aqueous humor, my boujee friend Mercedes thought her last name was Benz
There's little to go so try to read in between the lines of this mental battle
You're stuck playing with babies but I'm trying to hang with the snakes that rattle
This conversation is from me to you never look for a farmer who'll treat you like cattle
And if didn't you know I was the narrator, main character and second person so has your mind been dismantled?

be washed away

(with spoken word inserts
by soulsurvivor)

When I die don't cry for me
In my Father's arms I'll be
The wounds this world
left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole
Sun and moon will be replaced
By the light of Jesus Face
And I will not be ashamed
For my Savior knows my name.

- chorus -
It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be Home and I'll be FREE
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

SS insert -
Persecution I'll expect.
It's not surprising. Folks reject.
Still I LOVE my Lord so dear
I'll forgive and have no fear
Faced with evil on all sides
In the Lord I will abide
No force of hell can remove Thee
It don't matter where you bury me

---

Gold and silver blind the eye
Temporary riches lie
Come and eat from heaven's store
Come and drink and thirst no more
So weep not for me my friend
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to Him
Who will raise the dead again

- chorus -

SS insert -
I will pass. That much is clear.
I'll leave my tabernacle here
Life is short, the time doth fly
So I'll go to kiss the sky
Then I'll know all mysteries
It don't matter where you bury me


A song written by Julie Miller
Performed by Emmy Lou Harris
and Selah (this version is below)
With inserts by SoulSurvivor