I am standing on a Road
On the other Side: a Field
Kilometers long
I look at my Watch
The Handels are missing
No Lights, neither North nor South
Only thick, milky Fog
A cold Blow cutting through my Skin
I zip the Jacket up
All the Way under my Chin
I light a Cigarette
I do not look around

After a few Minutes or Days
A Light dives through the Nothing
A blue Bike floats past me endlessly slow
On it someone without a Face, dressed in black

And from that Day on there always was a slight Splatter in the Background
Down at the Field

I love you
You stupid ****
I hate that I dont love you
You are nothing you are fake you are mine
I can do whatever I please
And I ******* hate myself for it
******* *******
I could never love
I just want to be touched
So I touch you
I dont give a **** if you like it
Please tell me you need me
I cannot
The dignity of the human is untouchable
But you are not human
You are an object of my desire
I ******* hate you you godess
You give me what I want and I dont like it
I hate myself
******* suffocate me
Dont leave me
I am sorry

I was laying on the cold asphalt
The night was cutting through my skin
I begin to slowly feel it give way
Bend under my bodyweight
I hear it screaming and twisting
I doesn't want to do this
I try to look arround
Every movement just accelerates
I try to get upright
I cannot
I waddle like a fish on land
It swallows my arms
I scream and I try
It screams back
I am so tense I feel like my stomach will explode
I connot do anything
I pray to the sky to take me
If I push so hard I break my right arm
The pain shooting through me
I bite my terth in the black sticky mass
They begin to crumble
My body spasms
My eyes are gauging out of my head
My vocal chords snap under the load
My ears are ringing
My heartbeat feels like an earthquake
A fingernail rips of the flesh
I breath big chunks of road
It fills me from the inside
I spit blood
I suffocate
I ***** and scream and explosively gasp for air
I can feel my skull is about to crack
And then I just let myself fall

Slowly I sink through the darkness
No sounds reach my ears
No light reaces my eyes
I do not feel any pressure
I feel so light like I weigh nothing
I drift down the path for thousands of years
I do not remeber everything
The darkness is pulling me

I am sorry for giving up
It was too easy

I step into a hall
I cant see neither wall
Nor celing
Only clouds
Every few kilometers, a door
I know, every door a diffrent unlimited treasure
I walk and walk
No doors right
I reach the end
Its been thousands of years
I suffered the choice
Now I lay and die

The time fell off the wall

The time broke
Its dripping
Its dripping through thw floorboards
It holds the smell of corpses
The floorboards scream and bend
The lifeless screach of the doomed
******* burn them already
****
Im so ******* sorry
Im so sorry

The time still falls of the wall

Love is day
*** is night
One implies the other
But they shouldn't exist together

We made love
     I'm still there

You never where

I burn and burn
My fumes inhaled
I eat concerns
His mouth numb
But I feel alive
Twisting down his throat
Making paradiese
Why exhale
He feels empty anyways
Off the pills, leaving chemtrails
His lung is *****
So is my work
He is alone
Cuz he cant speak no sober words
I crawl through his lung
I ease his mind
The sensation, lived 1000 times
Easy to do, cuz the act is polite
As I float away
The street lights turn me yellow
I rise and I rose
The taste - good but shallow
He takes anothet hit
But im off into space
I'm taking my time
There ain't no race
Then I'll be one with the clouds
And he'll still be standing there
I'm taking his life
But he doesn't care
Now I don't need him anymore
And he becomes small

His problems be real
But for me they ain't
The city is beneth
All these humans
Problems
Problems
I am smoke, I dont care

To old for drawing
To young for politics
To stupid for physics
To smart for construction
To valuable for videogames
To uncreative for art
To egoistic for friends
To friendly for happiness
To tired for school
To active for sleep
To lazy for sports
To involved for realtionships
To busy for books
To bored for YouTube
To overwhelming for strangers
To empty for gatherings
To sober for church
To drunk for science
To fat for beach
To thin for gym
To handsome for prostitutes
To ugly for ***
To afraid for life
To afraid for death



     Worthless

Sitting, where winds cut through my face
No reactions
Where black and heavy rain drenches trees in mudgreen
Only alcohol
Where cups fill with tears and lungs with smoke
Can't breath
My minds in a diffrence place
Where? Between your arms
Only warmth
Where? Between your legs
Only pleasure
Where? Behind your lips
Only truth
Where were you
All the time
Where was your mind
We kissed
Where did you belong
Not there?
Where do I belong
If not here

Alone

You  cut  me
    But I'm not mad
You  stabbed  me
    Who can blame you
You  shot  me
    But really it's my fault
You  hung  me
    As I am dying
You  pushed  me
    I realize
You  poisoned  me
    I gave you my trust
You  crushed  me
    And you used it to
****  me

Just 15; Just pass 3 am
Moma sleeping, daddy working
Minds racing, boy sneakin' sneakin'
Rain dried, hearts desire

Anonymous soccer jersey walking dog
Lonely street light illuminating lonely boy
Don' wanna go home, Don't wanna desolve
Rain dried, love too

Cigarettes and ice tea
Familiar sidewalks, windows closed
No friends awake, air is wide
To much space, to little thoughts

Night is freedom, night is dead
Boy is running because he can
Boy is crying because he can
Who counts boys when stars are endless

Boy just passed 18; Boy is still there
Awake while night, drunk while day
Boy still loves the same, but not at night
Night is dead, but dead means freedom