I'm empty,
like a run down house.

I'm no longer sure,
of my whereabouts.

Where I am,
Why I'm here,

I wish for my company,
to disappear.

Now I'm faded and stale,
like an rusty old nail,

I wish to be social,
But I was always at someones disposal,

I wanted some space,
sometime to think and retrace,

to let go,
of the bad,

to try to stop,
being sad,

but the pain returns,
and the flooding thoughts burn,

Cast down,
destroyed,

no matter,
the length I avoid,

My thoughts run through my head,
and when I believe they have fled,

no matter how much I exceed,
my thoughts hurt me til I bleed,

I cannot,
escape,

the world handed me,
my fate.

car ride,*
to,
your house,
to,
your yard,
up,
the stairs,
to
your front door,
to,
enter,
to,
step inside,
to,
look around,
to,
be leaded,
up,
stairs,
to,
stop,
to,
open the door,
to,
enter,
to,
wait for you,
to,
sit with my friend,
in,
your room.
to,
watch you enter,
to,
ask you about your day,
to,
be your friend.
but,
you, lay, down,
to,
pull, me close,
to,
not, let go,
to,
get, on, top,
to,
go, down, my pants,
to,
take, off, my top,
to,
not, hear me, when I screamed,
**STOP.

delilah was my only love,
my only escape from this world,
a drive with her was all I needed to take the edge off,
no cigarette or drug could really do the trick,
nothing really worked to clear my head,
but delilah could.

delilah was my best friend,
never lied to me,
never went behind my back,
delilah was like an angel,
used to always help me get home and back,

delilah died.
and I killed her.
someone drove us off the road,
a third of a mile from my house.
and we hit rock bottom,
before we hit the tree.

delilah died,
going under twenty.
fifteen years old,
my first real love,
my first investment to better myself,
ripped from me.

Delilah the victim of accident,
left the world,
with two flat tires,
and a bent licence plate.
we took delilah outback,
and put her out of her misery.

r.i.p. 2001-05/12/2016

i am the shattered glass, cold on the ***** floor
swept and disposed of because i can't be used anymore.
my pieces are scattered, ruined and cracked, unable to be fixed, unable to revert to intact.
i am a tainted shard, scratching and severing all that i touch
with jagged edges, i seem to pierce and graze the ones that i love.
pieces of me have dispersed left and right, pieces of me that i cannot retrieve nor can i rectify.
and after you swept me off of the cold, ***** floor
you simply selected another glass, so you could break it once more.

I played with the flames of fire,
with the matches,
they're still burning in my hands,

you can try to drown me out,
but baby i will burn every last inch of you,
even if I have to burn the whole world for you to see.

I'll burn down with everybody,
but you caught me,
and the rain came down like it never did before,

the rain blew me out,
and I layed their weak,
and you laughed because I was me.

sometimes when I'm alone I cry for no reason,
so i think of reasons,
like their needs to be a purpose to cry,

sometimes I dream about the times when I used to burn myself,
so I trace over my old scars,
like touching them will rip them apart once more,

sometimes I think about dying,
so I think of who I would want to care,
and I can't seem to think of anyone who matters enough,