If I could just let go of everything, I would be comfortable, here in my hole.

someone made me feel like I mattered,
and I don't know what this means.
all I know is I never felt like I meant anything,
but now maybe I matter.

Why did I like you,
when you took the cig out of my mouth,
and pulled me down so we could make out,

What compelled me to give myself to you,
when I wasn't in the mood,
when I was speeding so I wouldn't eat food.

Why did I have control this time,
why did I chose yes over no,
could I of chose no this time.

Why did you have to treat me with respect,
because I ****** you,
because I was allowing  you to have ***,

What makes me so important,
to want to be with,
to want anything to do with.

I just wish this meant more to you.
that you understood how happy you made me,
that you just amaze me.

I don't know what to say to you.
I just love these little things about you,
ugh.

and you came back again,
and then the thoughts come back again,
and the world turned to **** again,
and my life felt worthless again,
and the coffee tasted bitter again,
and everything was bitter again,
and the voices came back again,
and I cried in my room again,
and I pictured all my mistakes again,
and I found my old photos again,
and I forgot how much I missed being loved again,
and I remembered all the terible things you did again,
and I cried even louder again,
and then my mistakes the followed came back again,
and my eyes got weak again,
and I thought about my friends again,
and then I figured they hated me again,
and everyone hated me again,
and no one came back to save me again,
and i'm alone to save myself again,
and I don't know how to again,
and my life feels meaningless again,
and its getting so hard to hold on again,
and I don't know who I can trust again,
and I'm not okay again.
and everything was wrong again,
and this keeps happening again,
and again,
**and again

i.

Gramercy, it hast been one year now, one year of smiles, laugh's, cry's; growing together, growing
Wing's in ourn flight.

ii.

Fain I am, to seest thee at night, slumbering as a newborn, queen
Of orbiting light's, woman of mine
Insight; sagittiferous to mine
Burden's of life.

iii.

Let me clear away that vultuous countenance mine girl.

iv.

We art namelings, with ourn letter's hewed into the highest realm, noscible to the Angel's; we
We're recorded on God's
Film.

v.

Perantique we art, as we battle the being's that fell, they've broken their iron locked doorway's; to make their way out of hell.

vi.

Stand close to mine side, I canst heareth those wedding Bell's, I canst feeleth the earth to swell, as the labor pain's art now.

vii.

This place shalt sway and moan, like a drunkard without a home, the living in Christ shalt rise; with the dead already rose, silver an treasures shalt come to naught,
Home good's and store bought,
For men won't grasp their own
Thought's; as the misfortune
Cometh upon them. Lover's wilt
Love themselves, they'll seeketh life
In the devil's Lip's; for the lies he speaks art quick, powerful,
Deceiving, cunning.

viii.

Look on high mine Jane, ourn lord is coming, the globe is spinning to the drum of celestial prophecy;

None stopping wilt be, yet we art free, a king and queen with a heavenly home, with mansion's
To roam, streets followed with
Gold, with like-minded souls;
Awaiting ourn entrance.

This one year wilt lead
To an eternal precipice,
In which we shan't miss,
As all wilt take focus;

For we hath life, mine Jane
Ourn hope is this;

One son of God
Who goes by the name
Jesus; ourn hope and ourn
Reason even more to be one,
To showeth another and all
The Savior's dying love, and in him
Salvation alone, fret not mine lass, soon we shalt go home, soon all ourn waiting wilt be gone, and ourn hand's shalt hold.

Two spirit's to be;
One love,
One soul.

look up
Look up

The time is now close......



©Brandon Nagley
©Earl Jane sardua Nagley dedication ( agapi mou)
© Lonesome poets poetry

I am alone,
I pushed all the wrong people,
Away.