My biggest fear is that I'll go back to who I was.
Fall into a rut of self-doubt and self-pity, too afraid of the future to crawl my way out.
Everyday I threaten to breakdown.
Because all I see are my own mistakes.
So I keep my safety blanket close to me.
In the form of coffee in my cup and a bible by my bed side.
It's not always a perfect peace of mind.
But when my biggest enemy tends to be myself.
It helped me survive.

your tears have been
watering your flowers

you became such a
beautiful garden

i don't know why i am the way i am
i don't know why i'm not hungry
i don't know why i can't sleep
or can't stop sleeping
i don't know why i feel like i'm already dead
or am better off so

I didn't
tell you
to go.

You heard
that on
your own.