Did it mean nothing to you?
When I opened up the gates to the complex realm
Filled with broken, burning particles of stars
That never got their opportunity to shine.
It was open just for you. Just for those few seconds.
You did not come in. You did not leave either.
How ignorant of you to keep those gates open.
To dismiss those pieces as if they were dust,
Leaving me more empty handed and broken than before.

You are gone.
But you will never feel that pain, that emptiness -
The only feelings that are left in me.
As I slowly fade away into the dark deep realm of a greater creation.

The realm of fallen souls.




-FreeMind

I said I would not write about you
But here I am, once more.

It's all because I banned you from my heart
Yet you managed to stay in my mind
Crawling back every night
To steal my reasoning away from me
Leaving me blind
Making me follow my emotions
Until I reach you, once more.


-FreeMind

My mind is a maze
And I'm lost once again


-FreeMind

I need you to save me
From the self induced harm
That I can no longer control


I know this isn't fair
But I beg you,
Please stay.


-FreeMind

My vision is being altered by an invisible being.
My body is changing drastically, no seconds to spare.
I can no longer tell if the mirror is lying to me,
If it is my eyes that are distorting my self image,
Or if I have gone completely insane.

It stares at me.
"Eat me."
It pleads. Begs for me to take a bite.
But I know better.
I won't ruin the progress. I've been working so hard.
I'll be that pretty skinny girl, I was almost meant to be.
But at 4am, it will beg me once more.
And I'll feel sorry. And I'll feel sorry.
So I will devour 2000 calories in 2 minutes, after my 42 hour fast.

Time to welcome my old friend, Regret.
Ah, I knew he would stop by. And right on time!
With the Scale and Mirror right by his side,
They will lay me down, and all watch me cry.

Where did the Scissors go?
Oh...
The ****** took those when he pretended to love me whole.
Not to worry, I'm strong.
I can take a few punches, to bruise up my soul.
Colors! Colors! Look at them go!
Representing that rainbow that makes me feel whole!

Shh!
Not too loud!
Don't let them hear!
They don't know how I feel about that girl across the street.
I should tell them. Come clean.
But won't that just cause a scene?

Stop.
No drama.
Just focus on work.
The classes you've been failing will soon **** your Hope.

HAH! What a life!
How can I complain?
All the choices were mine!
And now I'm INSANE!


-FreeMind

Knowledge is knowing
I can write beautiful poetry
Say all the right words
To motivate you
and
To tell you all will be fine
Stay strong
Show up for yourself
And
focus on the things
that really matter
You’re perfectly perfect
In every way

But
Wisdom is knowing
No matter how many
Beautiful poetry I’ve written
To motivate you
I still may not reach
Your inner soul

Because wisdom
Is knowing that
Too many people
Are forever stuck
At the age of their
Worst trauma

Wisdom is knowing
The voices inside
Your head will always
Be the loudest

Philosophy is knowing
And
wondering if I too
May be a victim of this
Beautiful world called life