I still love you .
But you hurt me
Now I'm with some else
That treats me better then
You ever did
But the difference is
I love you and
I like him

How do you find
The source of pain?
It's not like
It's screaming my name

So many things
Try to take the fame
For causing me
The most pain

My ex boyfriend
Is a manipulative *****
Who thinks he knows
What's best for me

My mother is sick
But slowly getting better
Even without
A doctor to help her

I am in love
With my best guy friend
But I'm afraid
Because of my ex boyfriend

My real dad
Is an *******
But if you ask him
He'll deny it

I guess somehow,
It's all my fault...

I should have listened about my ex

I should be grateful my mom is getting better

I should know to trust my best friend not to hurt me

I should learn my father won't change

But it's all the same
They still cause me pain
I wish you could see
What it's all doing to me

A mark is only remembered
If true to self
Doesn't matter departure
Avoid photo dusting shelf
Look upon me know
My spirit dancing free
No time for worries
Time for you now
To be free

Whenever I see
the word like
She
FEmale
WOman
Her
I worship coz
they not only
carried us in Womb
but also in
Language….

I thought about it, a lot
But I never did it.

the eternal waiting and eternal longing
keep a soul on the edge of forever
just enough sweet n sour to live this day fully.

And I think I'll call these the lost nights.

The nights where the silence is all consuming. Shapeshifting into black holes.

The only light at the end of this tunnel used to be the sound of your voice.

But now I'm stuck between the four walls of my mind that taunt me with the secrets they hold in the form of my memories.

The most prevalent one says that you'll never call.

So far it's been right. Sometimes I ignore it.. But nights like these, it ricochets like gunshots. Screaming to be more than heard..

Screaming to be felt.

And once again I'm reminded that I'd rather it be your voice that broke the silence instead of my memory of it.

I think I'll call these the lost nights.