I want to know what it's like to love someone
Of course I've been captured by someone's heart
Enveloping my heart with there's
But I never truly loved someone

I've never seen fireworks when I kiss
I've never had my heart race into an impossible speed
I've never actually wanted to hold hands
I've never been okay with looking back into someone's loving eyes

I've never loved someone

I've never been captured by someone's heart
Enveloping my heart with theirs
and sealing the envelop shut
I've never loved someone
But I'd like too

Do you remember when you were five and the worst thing that could happen was scraping your knee?

At what point did you realize there are worse things out there?

At what point did you realize mommy wasn't perfect and daddy wasn't invincible?

At what point did you realize you're not a princess and you never will be ?

At what point
did you grow up?

as he stared at her from afar
in a sweet, loving gaze,
with sweaty palms and a hesitating voice,
he never really realized
that someone else
loves him the same way he loves her.

There's something odd about it.

How I know their names, their personalities, the jokes they tell.

How I know the plans you guys have made and the fun activities you'll all do as a team.

How I even know the costumes they'll wear and the conventions you will all go to.

And I know what I'd say in conversation with them,

How I'd get to know them better,

How I would put my best foot forward,

How I've longed to actually hear their voices so I can match them with their persona.

But that's not in the cards.
It's okay, I'm okay.

But sometimes I realize how disconnected I am from your world.

How far away and far removed I am.
And I remember that no one knows me.

None of them know my name, or my personality.

They don't know the plans we have made or activities we are planning.

They don't think about what they'd say to me in conversation, or how they'd "get to know me better".

They wouldn't need to put their best foot forward or hear my voice to match me to the rest of my persona....

Because to all of them I don't exist. I'm a distant acquaintance from a long time ago.

I am a passing name in very loose conversation every couple of months.

I am the one who knows but isn't known.

I am a ghost.

And no one in your life can see me,

Except for a very special person,

And that's you.

(i. r.)

She just lays in my lap
Most of the time
When she doesn't
She plays with my hair
Bating it back and forth
She looks at me with her
Big hazel eyes
Her fur so soft
And pure
I'll never let her go

The flicker of a dying flame
When life is only a game
Waiting for darkness to fall
A void of voices will call

I never wanted to play
Just visions of every day
Where beauty could never fade
A place where nobody stayed

So nothing comes of the past
Reckless thoughts always last
As broken down machines die
But only human, living a lie

Did you see me within the cracks
A mirror discarded on the tracks
Reflection of the impossible me
Without a home to ever be

Somewhere there is an empty shout
For now the flame has gone out
Nothing left, gone without a trace
Now just a ghost without a face

to love a poet, kiss him when he bleeds, kiss him deep,
make love to him when he is dead, so passionate that he shall chose to rise,
and then he becomes your dog, and you his home.
that's more than that can be asked and that you'd know

Wounded boards of cardboard dreams
Smelt in cities and lucid screams

Rusty nail driven in blasted souls
Wake me up and make us crawl

Bound by the ties of constant sorrow
The daylight ends, there is no tomorrow