I'll never forget
The look you gave
As
I told you something good  
You looked safely lost
With a thought provoking gaze
Deep into my soul
No smile
Just a kind softness 
To a wandering thought
Maybe just absorbing what I said
 Saying nothing
Just looking
Were you day dreaming?
Did you even hear me?
Your beautiful eyes
Shook a nerve
A pleasant one
Having to look down
At what I was reading
I left the mutual gaze prematurely  
Maybe it meant nothing
Maybe it meant everything
This is the conundrum

You are that boy
I showed up to school for
The one who never knew
What he meant
To me
Wanting to be wanted
Just in case
He looked up
But never did
Still...
I always think
About him
His essence
Follows you around
The way I do

I need
A little something
Every
Day
Just something small
A word
A smile
A share
And
It will be enough
Because
It's from you

I used to see love in your eyes but now all I see is hate and anger
I used to get lost in the beautiful eye but now I can't look at them
Without fear your eyes used to be my safe place now they are my fear

I knew you'd change our lives
My life
A mother's life
The young handsome man
Taking care of her
Taking care of us
His family loved us
Giving us more family
New babies
Never realizing the impact
Until now
The happiness
The safety
Being loved by a new dad
To replace one I never knew
I knew you'd change our lives
And you did...

Because you left

Those comfort memories
The ones I count on
That
Crawl their way into
My mind and heart
The
Ones I'm most
Fond of
Are those days
The sun was going down
Beaming good night
Crispy apple air
Veil of warmth
And spice
While
Fawning
Over you
Looking out
My car window
Waiting
For something
Different
I know you are
Just  
A daydream
I need to forget

I spoke your language
With you,
I tried,
But meaning was lost
Meaning was everything
And yet became nothing
I can't speak
Your language
Anymore
It's a choice
You made
Long ago
By fracturing
My abilities
To understand
You