I watch you walk away slowly
I do not get what 's wrong with me
I see you and you see me too
If I had courage, what would we do
It doesn't matter 'cause now your gone
I wish you never came along
You're really messing with my head
You're the guy whose shirt is red
You caught my eye pretty fast
My fantasy cannot last
You are just some guy on the beach
Who is just out of my reach

My pen is running out of ink
I guess I don't have much time to think
there is so much I wish to say
but all these things are in my way
I think back to that summer night
just before we had the fight
it was so perfect then and there
a perfect moment that we shared
things got rocky at the end
but you said we'd still be friends
you and I know what that means
it doesn't call for a pretty scene
all the damage has been done
at least we had those nights of fun.

I flip page after page

searching for an end to humanity's idiocy

yet this is not a story of brevity

I gaze upon the intricate ink of the yellowing pages

My mind sets into a seemingly perpetual haze

preventing me from truly absorbing the words

I give a silent thank you

For I do not know how I would react

to all of this confounding insanity

I close the book and caress its leather skin

I inhale the ancient smell it offers

A muddled grin crawls across my face

I  feel it spreading through every vessel in my body

The haze has removed itself from my being

A piercing clarity penetrates my soul

Ah, it has finally come

The gates have been opened

The madness flows freely

Misunderstanding is everywhere I look
My entire life is starting to feel like a book
Not a book that has just begun
But a book that is well overdone
I ponder what holds for me in the next chapter
Certainly not a happily ever after
Oh, but look there's a twist
Something so easily missed
For my life is not a book
It is a sharp ***** hook
A hook plunged deep in my soul
Reeling me out for what life beholds
I am not ready to be on my own
I do not trust myself to be all alone
And what happens when you run out of line for your hook
It's the end of your story, the end of your book

The sinuous road adorned by sunlight
Twisting on forevermore
Intuitive signs interspersed
Called upon by nature's glory
Wooden arches crisp with Autumn
Casting shady protection from all beyond
The air light and teasing
Drawing curiosity without haste
and with a bump all is given
Rewarded with a glistening Eden
To my dismay it's not forever
All the life fading away
To be replaced with roaring metal
and endless mounds of concrete grey
But this is not the end you seek
Yet a promised adventure for another day

I walk outside and the harsh winds greet me
The combustible clouds are eager to meet me
Tears trickle gently from the sky
Pleading with silent cries
The leaves fall from the trees
Swaying and swooshing like the seas
The sky starts to yellow
Oh, how I am a silly fellow
For this is the calm before the storm

Sometimes I go deep in my thoughts
So deep that I reach a different place
A place I feel much happier and free
Different things I see
Things I can’t experience consciously

Sometimes I drift away at sleep
To an imaginary land 
Where things are less complicated
And easy to understand

Faint silhouettes beckon you closer
silently whispering your name

Your unwavering feet bring you further
engulfing you in ominous shadows

The air dense with movement
yet all else seems utterly still

Malicious laughter slithers around you
questioning your deadly steps

You turn to run
yet find no escape

You try to yell
yet find no voice

You go to live
yet find no life

I watch the fluorescent flash of the open sign
as I contemplate the meaning of life
Rain starts to pelt down harshly on the windshield
washing away the sign in a colorful stream
Though all else seems to be against it
it continues to flash
I silently will it to pull through
Then the flashing stops as abruptly as it began
I am almost offended
It offered no fight for survival, no retort
        
         The slam of the car door
         and the greasy smell of gas station food
         bring me back to the present

My brother offers the dampened brown paper bag towards me
I take it reluctantly, suddenly at loss for appetite
The ancient truck manages to roar to life yet again

       My eyes relentlessly follow the sign
       as we pull out of the parking lot
       searching for a sign of hope, anything.

As if some higher power had been listening to my innermost thoughts
the sign flickers once or twice more before taking its final breath