You with your new love
And me with mine
I love him I do
and I know you love her too
but I can’t help noticing
Your all too familiar eyes
The way they crinkle at the corners
And sparkle at my sight
Theres a slight warmth in your stare
Subtly revealing the emotions
You’ve trapped deep inside
Our eyes meet
For a fleeting moment
a silent conversation
longings for the past
Flames dancing
The mouth’s sly grin
Your eyes softly whisper
What I always hoped was true
They say you remember
They reveal you still care
Memories flood from the past
Time stands still
And just for a second
I felt like we were back
Back when love was new
but as soon as it began
The moment was gone
And I was left staring
At your now apathetic eyes
****** back into reality
the wistful realization
The painful truth
Our time had passed
We each have moved on
So you turned to your love
as I turned to mine
and with one last glance
our eyes whispered
a silent goodbye

A year and six months
Since the last time I saw you
Your sudden appearance
long overdue
you look so much older
Your hair is so long
Your eyes somehow colder
You ask me what’s wrong
And what can I tell you
What could I say
I guess that I miss you
I wish that you stayed
I guess I forgive you
For breaking my heart
For all you put me through
So I send my regards
To the man I once knew
because you are not the same
and neither am I
only life is to blame
so this is goodbye

Oh my love, tell me why
things didn’t feel right to you
you look at me its like
you’re looking right through
Theres a look in your eyes
I can’t place anymore
it’s like you don’t love me
like you did before
Darling the sun is setting
on you and I
my heart is broken
by your solemn goodbye
shadows are settling
on the place you left
all that remains of me
is just a silhouette
my soul is empty
I am hollow
for I know
you will be gone tomorrow

I have a deep fear
One I cannot get past
A fear that controls me
Making me distant
Preventing me from moving forward.
I’m afraid of love
Of making connections
Of being vulnerable again.
I’m terrified of opening up
Of showing people my heart
Terrified that they will leave
As so many have done before.
I'm alone and broken
left with only fragments
Of my shattered heart
Unable to pick up the pieces.
A brokenness caused by the very person
I once trusted to protect it.
I need someone
Someone to sweep up my shattered mess
Someone to love me.
But my fear prevents me
From letting people in
From asking for help
Because all I’ve grown to known
Is the cruel pattern of abandonment.
I’m desperately longing
To create something of substance
So that my heart can finally mend
To fill this emptiness
but I can't--
fear trumps desire
As I meet new people
people I want so badly to trust
people I want to love.
Fear hardens my heart each time
Stone walls to protect the remains
Of my brokenness.
The terror of falling in love again
Trusting people with my fragile heart
Being vulnerable
separates me from these beautiful people.
The fear I’ve created for protection
Only causes me pain.

I realized something today
As I am stuck in the same place
As you are far away
I've let you control me
Even when you aren't in my life
You've dictated my happiness
For much too long
I was in love
With everything about you
For so long I've made myself believe
I still loved you
And yes darling it's true
I am still in love
But not with you
I'm in love with who you used to be
I'm in love with the way you once made me feel
I'm in love with the beautiful memories
But that's the thing
I'm only in love with who you were
And all you once meant to me
I don't know who you are now
So how could I possibly be
Still in love with you
When you are now a stranger
I don't miss you
I miss who you were
I miss being in love
I only miss the moments I have lost
So yes I admit
I will always be in love
I will always miss you
But not the way you think