Heavy prayers that fall on deaf ears
Day dreams that my worries all disappear.
In a dark space and I cannot see the light
At the end of a tunnel full of fears that won’t subside.

I beg and plead, “Lord, please bring me change”.
I beg and plead, “Lord, please help me through all the pain.”
But God don’t answer, and he leaves my heart wide open
I expect nothing, but ****** I was hoping…

The little girl in me feels neglected.

I guess, til now, I never truly reflected
Never really understood
How parents like you didn’t do all that you could
To ensure I felt safe and secure
To keep my innocence pure.

You allowed me to witness
All of your recklessness.
I find it awfully selfish
That you claim to have been helpless.

I needed you at your best
You gave me 50% and gave everyone else the rest.

Now I’m grown and I have to pick up
The shattered pieces of my heart
And tear my toxic thoughts and habits apart.

While I’m healing and in recovery,
I make sure to show much love to the little girl in me.

Being cheated on hurts. So. Bad. 


The way I loved before, I know I’ll never be able to get back to that point ever again.

My sense of self worth has gone down, I now question my trust in my own intuition, and my hurt feels like a pain I’ve never felt before.


“I’m so glad I never have to worry about him.” 


Something I used to always tell my mom and friends.

I always thought his love for me would overpower his desire for other women. I was so wrong. 


I felt stupid. I felt played. 


I’d had opportunities to do him as ***** (if not dirtier) than he did me. I didn’t partake in those opportunities because I felt like our love was so pure and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin something so beautiful.

I was wrong. 
I felt embarrassed. I felt ashamed. 


While I was sick, I thought he was being true to me. I fantasized about having his kids upon healing. I thought our love grew stronger because he was there for me at my lowest.

I was wrong.


Instead, he was spending time and money - something we both felt we had such little of- on someone else.

I feel hurt. I feel unsafe. 


I don’t trust the same way I used to. I don’t look at him the same way I used to. I don’t have “forever” hopes like I used to.


Hopefully someday I’ll heal.

But for now, my heart hurts.

I’ll never be the same.

It’s really hard to be sweet, loving, and kind
After I found out the man I love is no longer just mine.
He’s a man who loves the women of the streets,
A man who doesn’t even clean his own sheets,
Who I believed had once swept me off my feet
Really, he swept underneath my feet
Eternally cursing me.

Walking heartache
Daily headache
You’ll be the end of me.

You’re a stone cold brute
I want a shot, but don’t know how to shoot.
Everything seems impossible with you.

So, why do I care? Why do I stay?
Maybe I’ll figure myself out some day.

An empty shell,
Whose life is hell.
A hollow soul;
A shallow well.

A sorrowful spirit engrossed with woes,
Bits and pieces of me no one knows.

Superficially, I reveal myself
Neglecting to reflect my mental health.
Scared for myself and seeking help,
But it all fails
and goes to Hell.