You call me shy
And mock my every move
You make me fight
Just to prove myself to you...
Thoughts

You tell me lies
And trap me inside
You make me cry
Leaving me sleep deprived...
Isolation

You tell me I'm not wanted
And pierce my flesh with your impurities
Until I've gone too far
Killing me along with my insecurities...
Depression

You make my heart beat fast
Whenever someone walks past
You make me feel
Like everyone's judging me...
Anxiety

You remind me of everything I've done
Telling me I'll never be good enough
That I'll never be loved
Because I've done too much...
Regret

You lock me to the ground
Placing chains all around
You make me want to hide
From the world outside...
Fear

You take everything from me
Leaving me broken and hopeless
You drain my energy
And leave me restless
You make me nervous and anxious
Over absolutely nothing
You let me feel nothing but pain and suffering...
Life

it feels like i'm drowning
but my breathing is just fine
might not be trapped physically
but i'm caged in my mind
reliving every failure
and worrying about the ones to come
not thinking about what i do
but everything else that i should have done
and they all think i'm crazy
no one understands
not worth the energy
or even a second glance
even those that listen
barely register the meaning
a moment of belonging is
temporary
rare
and fleeting
cause i climb this mountain of doubt
and fall each time i try
to open up and be a better friend
it leaves me cut up inside
because either i'm terrible
and say what i want to say
or i give myself to others
and i slowly go insane
cause to be liked
i have to be nice to you all
being supportive
being there
being kind to a fault
but i'm still the bad guy
cause i'm tired of handling it
cause i'm sick of your lies
and the people that you run with
why must i change myself
when i've already changed my behaviors
time and time again
to make you comfortable
to have a positive impact
to be a better friend
i just feel abandoned
in a time of need
why must i defend
myself every time i disagree
it's just a part of who i am
the choices i make
are based on thought
not on whims
i've given too much
to now in turn let your words
get under my skin
why can't i just feel
why must i lose for you to win
i'm trying so hard
to keep my cool
but the darkness is moving in
the farther i run
the harder it is
for my heart to mend
i run from my fears
neck deep in problems
till i realize i'm in the deep end

I hate the empty feeling
I sometimes get
when I hear your voice.
I see you waiting for an answer
that I don't want to give.
I get angry at myself
and then at you.
How could you let me
leave without saying goodbye.
How could you let yourself
let me be in this mood.
Why won't you insist on me
staying and talking to you.
Will you please tell me to stop
and love you.
I need you to tell me what to do
for otherwise I'm just going to be cruel.
I don't want you to act
like it doesn't bother you.
For I see it does
and I know it's because
it's not normal to be like this.
So hopeless, angry and empty

Your fingertips planted trees on me.
You left a forrest
full of life.
But with no rain
there was no healthy leafs.
So the forrest crumbled.
And I cut the tress down
for I did not wish
to have a memory of you
on my body.
Yet, roots of the forrest
remained deep beneath my skin.
And I will now forever,
if I wish or not,
have memories of your fingerprints.

with flowers in her eyes
she looks so pretty when she cries

teardrops run down her cheeks
like water flows down solemn creeks

heart broken in two
by someone she thought she knew