don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.

the house next door makes me
sad.
both man and wife rise early and
go to work.
they arrive home in early evening.
they have a young boy and a girl.
by 9 p.m. all the lights in the house
are out.
the next morning both man and
wife rise early again and go to
work.
they return in early evening.
By 9 p.m. all the lights are
out.

the house next door makes me
sad.
the people are nice people, I
like them.

but I feel them drowning.
and I can't save them.

they are surviving.
they are not
homeless.

but the price is
terrible.

sometimes during the day
I will look at the house
and the house will look at
me
and the house will
weep, yes, it does, I
feel it.

You know what's the worst thing about love?

It's falling in love with someone

And that someone made you feel that they're also in love with you

But little did you know, he will leave you

He will leave you with different I love yous

In every corner of your room

Different scents

In your sweater, or jacket rather



I gave you everything

Every love

Every attention

Every word, poem, song I can think of

But I guess, it wasn't enough to make you stay

Love will never be enough to make you stay



Dear, I can feel you forgetting me

I can feel that you’re hiding me between the words of I miss you  

I love you and I'm sorry

Don’t.

If you want to leave then go

Don’t hesitate

Don’t think of my feelings, because I will always be vulnerable

If you want to come back

Don’t  

Sorry won't fix anything

Love will never be enough to come back, if it doesn’t make you stay



Then suddenly, all the promises became empty

All I love yous became boring

All I miss yous became lie

Dear, you are more than drugs and alcohol

You gave more damage than them



But dear, this is not about you

This about the feelings you leave

The pieces you tear apart

This is about me

About how fool I am to think that maybe

Maybe, deep down in your heart I am there.

I never feared losing someone.

Because I've always been the one to leave

But when I saw that dull eyes

It terrifies me, that someday you will leave  

And you did

People often ask me what love is  

And I seriously don't know what it means

All I can think about is you

Your eyes, those brown eyes

Those eyes which saw me naked  

You saw every scar on my body  

Yet the only thing you said was

“You are beautiful”  

Love, I am not beautiful

Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds

Doesn't mean beautiful

I am not an art

Yet your lips kissed me

The way the sun kissed my skin every morning

Without a fail, without any doubt

You smiled.  

And the only words that came to my mind was

"****, this is trouble"

My love, your words hold me like a hostage

Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.  

A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.

I knew that this love

Our love would last a lifetime  

Or so I thought



We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions

Maybe if it wasn't for distance  

We would be still together, we could have worked it out

But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make

We will still come to an end

Confused about the future

Insecure about other people

Hating each other

You, giving up

And me, craving for more

Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest



I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me

But every time I would ask about it

You always said

"You deserve so much more"

You were once my everything

My other half

My partner in crime  

You were someone so freaking important to me

You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating

I fell so hard for you

And guess what happened?

Love, I am broken



How many days, months, years

For me, to forget

That once upon a time

You were here

I was there

Hands holding tighter

Eyes locked to each other

Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner  



How much would it cost?

For the pain to stop

For the memories to abandon

For the feelings to fade

My love, I did not expect any of this

I didn't know that love can be deadly

A love that can force someone to commit suicide  

That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself





Now, do you think I'm suicidal?

Love, do not be afraid

I'm not going to die

Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself

Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying

I kept on dying anyway

I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me  

Because the day, you decided to give up on me

I already gave up on myself.

Finding a lover is effortless
for some people.
They only want a few things:
Someone attractive, kind,
funny or rich.

But
I desire
something so much deeper.

I want

an intelligent mind
that wakes up thoughts in me
I didn't realize were hibernating.

I want

to converse, analyze and debate
without being conscious of
the sun rising and falling
between our words.

I want

to make a witty remark
at a coffee shop
so he can reply sarcastically
just for me to jab back immediately
and for him to comeback back playfully
until we're both laughing
stomachs shaking
spit flying
the whole store staring
and we leave
without coffee

I want

our hands to stitch together
perfectly
like two lost puzzle pieces;
one found under a couch cushion
one found inside a junk drawer.
The rest of the puzzle has
already been thrown away
but
these two pieces remain
and they fit.

I want

to fall in love together
then together fall in love with
art, museums, songs, poems
T.V shows, radio jingles,
greek food, backroads,
our mutual hatred for pop culture,
doing the dishes (as long as he washes and I dry)
wrong turns, piled up laundry, life.
Just fall in love with life.

I want

to hurt with him

I want

to save the world with him

I want

to meet, see, understand
and experience all that is foreign
with him.

I think it will only take us meeting
and it'll only be history and happiness from then on.

It's just a matter of if a love like that could ever be
and if a love like that could ever be for me.

What is behind the stars in the dark night sky?
Please don't tell me nothing,
because nothing is something.

Oh, and what is deep beneath the ocean which we cannot see?
Are there mermaids or
maybe whole another universe?

Now tell me,
is happiness truly real or is it something spoken in fairytales?

I have an open mind.
I have a sense of magic that children have in themselves.

Just please tell me:
what happens when I die?

I'm I invisible?
I cannot tell
I see myself in the circle of life
Surrounded by nature
Yet, I appear so tiny and little

I'm I invisible?
I cannot tell
I see the world with my eyes of hope
But my fellow travellers never notice me
I ask nature my hearty questions
All nature could give is silence in solitude

I'm I invisible?
I see myself the way people see me
I see myself not been noticed

I'm I invisible?
I cannot tell
But I will keep on living
Cos I'm with nature
Even in my invisibility.

I want to know you
I want to know your favorite book
(even if it’s Curious George from the first grade)
I want to know what foods you can’t stand
(so I can pretend to make you eat it)
I want to know your favorite subjects in school
If you can or can’t sleep with socks on
were you a trouble maker when you were little?
the songs you sing at the top of your lungs
and the songs that make you sad
do cheesy pickup lines make you smile or roll your eyes?
I want to know who you want to be someday

the good, the bad, the ugly

I want to know you
as a real person

I want more than what’s on the surface
I want to see beneath that

I promise I am not here to scratch
I just want to see
who you really are