i.

i used to only write sad poems.

ii.

you see,
i am a cynic,
a cemetery,
a holocaust,
a chaotic, distant, lost girl
buried in her own
self-destruction.

but with you
i am different.

i want to wake up,
keep my promises,
make up for lost time,
spill blood and ink,
try again,
live

for you.

iii.

you walk me home
and the skies blush
pink cloud summers
mid-December.

we part and i marvel
at the sepia tint
of backyard roses
blurring my lenses.

you came in
like the missing palette color
i never knew
i needed
my skies painted with.

iv.

now, you are all the love poems
i didn't know i could write.

and every metaphor i create
is just a lengthier version of
'i love you'

i really do.

there is still
space
for love in your
sadness.

You have red, blue, and white pills on your hand
Drink it up and make it stop
All the pains in your heart.
But, you are better than that.
Better than the people who called your body.
Better than the people who called you ugly.
Cause you are wanted.

You have knife on your hand,
Ready to cut your wrists
Bleed out all those aches and worries.
But, you are better than that.
Better than your problems.
Better than your miseries.
Cause you are important.

You have rope on your hand,
Lace it around your neck
Drown your mind, drown your demons.
But, you are better than that.
Better than your ugly thoughts.
Better than the voices in your head.
Cause you are not alone.

And you did the best for staying alive.

Reaching up from hell’s gates
I’m gripping onto sunshine
So tightly, I can’t feel my hand
The sun blinds my eyes, but I feel fine
I got so lost in clouds of smoke and drowned in each shot glass
Now that the sky is clear and my bottles dry
I know which ways up and which ways down
I rode on the devil’s back, he brought me everywhere
I’ve seen the worst and felt it too
It’s only up from here
When you’ve bathed in the red hot depths of hell anywhere else is paradise

Dreaming
With eyes wide
Open

Is the same
As running
Blind

A risk
Worth taking
Instead

Of the chocking
Confinements
Of this

God
****
Cage