... -; And here I stand,
Utterless, emotionless,
Simply struck
At the thought of being
   P o e m l e s s

Well, I mean, homeless
   As we all know
A poem is a home
   For the mind and soul

Take that lesson and rewind it
Time it
Rhyme it
Place it on that paper that's
L I NE ' D

                          yes,
I did that.
As a poet,
I exempt that.
Re-vamping your language to meet
            
                   MY DESIRES

is where I make impact.

I knew I didn't fit in.
I knew I wouldn't.
But I never though it could be like this.
I'm not me.
I find myself singing songs without their meaning.
Hearing but not listening.
Understanding but not applying.
Seeking but not feeling.
And I don't like it.
You've changed me and I have no control.
Nothing makes the same sense it once did.
How can I go back?
This change within me is confusing
Although, I guess it's slightly satisfying.
Knowing that there's nothing I can do.
Rebelling without a motive.
Following the crowd, trying to fit in.
Seeing a normality I could strive towards.
Maybe it'll become easier, I won't have to think anymore.
I'll put my faith into something bigger.
Something better.
Knowing I have something to put my faults on.
To remove my guilt and impose a new hope.
Hope for a better life.
A life where I can simply exist and be.
A life where I can escape the pain of thoughts.

I think I might be going mad
Like a traveler without a map
On a land absent of help
Like a ship without a captain
On a sea with fog so thick you can't see

Closing my eyes only lets
My madness flow free
Imagining strange places
Sometimes beings without faces
Rather a new world, a dimension perhaps
On a different plane
But still in the same place
Unable to be seen yet
Running rampant in our dreams
How come I can only see them
When I'm asleep

I will never be loved like I love
Never feel that straight human compassion
That I was born with and cultivated
I will never lay weakly in my bed
Turning my head to the grandchildren
Smiling as what little breath I have left
Exits my tired and sore chest
I will never see the wisdom I have to offer
Passed down my gene pool
See flowers by the pool as my coffin is buried
I will never see humanity rise and be
What I know it can but never will be
For me loving is a gift and a curse
It elevates and it hurts beyond measure
And I do not know if I would pass on this terrible treasure
Though I know I will never be loved like I deserve
Sometimes I still dream of a brighter more loving world

How did I get here?
Where am I from?
How did I get this heart break feeling that seems to be making me numb?
Why are you not here with me?
Why did you go?
Why did you fall out of love with me?
The answer, I will never know and it hurts so badly inside.
What's even worse is that I can't get you off of my mind
I want you back
I want you near
I want the laughter, I want the touch that took away all of my fears
I want your kiss upon my lips
I want the smiles, I want the hugs
I want to feel anything but this because this feeling that I have just isn't right
It's causing me to run and hide and I don't want to be that girl who throws true love away
So I'm telling you now
I don't want to lose you
so will you please stay?

I think about a lot of things
but you're the greatest thought in my head
I think about you when I am in school
I think about you while falling asleep in my bed
The thoughts I have are not bad
they actually make me smile
They sometimes make me laugh
which is good every once in awhile
I think about you taking off your shirt when it's 93 degrees outside
I don't think about the problems I have because you're the best thing in my life
I think about how your eyes look when you look straight at me
I think about how your heart beats when I hold you close against me
I think about the time when we played hide and seek in the park
I think about our first kiss and the feeling I got in my heart
I think about me falling asleep in your arms and how you hold me tight
I don't think about bad days because with you everything is alright
I think about how much I love you and how it feels good to know that you love me too
My heart never fails to beat fast whenever I think of you