I'm alive,
Yet I am not there,
My mind wandering,
People talking,
But it's just background noise,
I wonder does this make them feel alive,
Are they truly there,
Is anything real,
Am I real?

IV.

the boy takes you into his house and you come home that night with bruises on your neck. you took your shirt off

and threw it on his carpet and you’re trying to forget how he asked to kiss your stomach

and you said "no" too loudly. you kept telling the boy you wanted to leave,

but he kept kissing you and asking you to stay, and now you haven’t slept

and you have to hold open your eyelids if you want to get anything done. he keeps telling you that

you’re beautiful as if it should fix everything, as if his opinion alone can cure you, but all you can do is thank him

and hope he can’t see past the walls in your eyes.

he drives you home and you’re wearing another boy’s sweatshirt, but you're past caring.

you wonder offhand what he would do if he knew, and that’s all, and you stop wondering.

The intensity of your gaze
Could turn me into ashes
Wishing it's a stare of amaze
But darling, I know, we lost our chances

That look in your eyes
Are to cover the lies
And the look in my eyes
Are pretentious, a disguise
that I knew nothing of your crime

I'll take the fire in your eyes
Even if it will burn me alive
I don't want to hear the truth
Love me still, even if it's just a lie

You're too cruel
I wish you'd just tell me
That you've grown to hate me
That I'm no longer worth your time
That I'd have to live without you
From now on
Instead of the sleepless nights I spend
Trying to figure out what I did
Trying to remember where things went wrong
Trying to understand why you left
Without a word

You're too cruel
How can you disappear
Without any goodbye?

You're too cruel
How can you leave me
Looking at the places we've been
Remembering the things we've seen
Listening to the songs we've loved
With an ever-growing hole inside

You're too cruel
Aren't you going to say goodbye?

They said
“You are different now!”
I told them – it is the rule of nature,
But I am carrying hardly
One percent difference;
Rest was set by the spiral code,
My base is also ninety nine percent same as of you!
They laughed and replied life is link in the spiral network
Our base was designed on sugar and phosphorus!

I had to let go the sweetest love, and let it rotates again
Because the journey to love is a journey to one’s self,
Your highest, most sacred and loving self(quote)

While my broad rim hat were shielding the sun from my face
Who was shielding the hearts of sin?
Your smile, my laughter, your presence and your calm demeanor
Somehow the calmness worries me,

But, I must do bear in mind that some roses bloom independently
and some struggles through the concrete to survive
this morning I am struggling with the thoughts of emptying my suitcase
Too many memories, too many smiles and most of them
Came from, you, I never wanted my vacation to end
But once again the journey to love is a journey to one’s self

Where do we stand, after the darkest hour’s commute
and the fall season arrives in my part of the world
without warning?

The black birds will stop singing by midsummer,
and our love will fade from view, low blow , low blow
to our  lonely hearts,
I am not too big to sit here and cry....
another step back  from happiness once more.

I've been praying for a sign
But I've been pretending not to see
Claiming I can't read
Yet here I am, dumbstruck on the ground
Knocked off my feet
And there is no easy way to piece your life together
All we can do is have hope
And you've always given me hope
You've always been my wistful hope