She’s the girl at the party
reading ****** in the corner
instead of conversing the idle
she never learned how to read books with blank pages
She has a heart of gold
it’s just a bit broken
Can’t you hear it?
It’s beating for you already
She’s looking to be soaked in safety
not just comfort
She thinks she may find it
in your dry sense of humor
She wants you to untangle her twisted mind
She’s searching for someone to understand
the evocation that is her soul
that she’s a black hole
yet a ray of sunshine
That she desperately yearns for attention
but burns under the spotlight
Beautiful and tortured like the sea
Don’t judge her for the too many sips she takes
She’s just trying to forget
the things she never deserved to know
She’s using liquor to put out the fire in her brain
No one ever told her that it just helps it grow
She doesn’t want to feel alone in this crowded room anymore
She wants to run through the forest chasing butterflies
the way she always has to feel alive
She’ll make a paintbrush out of her own hair
if she has to
and paint her words on the moon
just to feel special for a minute
something she’s never been able to prove to herself
Because it’s hard to hear her echo
underneath the ocean
even though you can see her reflection in the sky
She’s the girl at the party
reading ****** in the corner
Don’t be afraid
Stars can’t shine without darkness after all
Hurry, before her lungs fill with water
Won’t you listen to her song?
She will learn the chords to yours too
Accept her because she’ll always accept you

- Unicorn

You thought I was speechless
but there’s a world inside of my head
far more magical than the one you know
It was just across the way
but you couldn’t find the bridge
you didn’t even look
You can’t see past your own view
I tried to fight
but I’m ashamed to admit
that sword was too heavy to lift
I always believed that I was too much
instead of knowing that you were too little
I tried to help you
the water carrier I am
enslaved to my humanity
I got tired of pouring from empty barrels
Some just drink every drop of water you have
Some just **** all of the air out of the room
You wanted me to be seen and not heard
though you were deaf to logic
Burning my brain with words like stupid
the hot poker of your narrow spirit
You made sure those words
would be branded on me for eternity
Some things can never be erased
Some cuts never stop bleeding
And I now must see necessity in barricades
Because I loved you loudly
but you weren’t listening
Because I protected you fiercely
but you weren’t the one in danger
Because I tried to be your life raft
but you sank us both
So I put up the walls
to keep you out of certain places
those that are too beautiful to be tainted
by a provincial mind
Not because I’m afraid
but because I’m brave enough
to realize that I deserve better  

- Boundaries

Sometimes you’re controlling
but that’s okay
because I know that you love me
and you will always be there
You’re the only one
that has always been there
It’s like I’m a ship
and you’re my captain
You always grab a hold of me
when the wind blows
and the seas get tremulous
you steer me away from the chaos
When life gets too hard
I know that if I sink
you’ll go down with me
Oh captain, my captain
Sail me away

- Submission

It must be a crush
yet I feel crushed by you
by this tidal wave of infatuation
crippled by the thought of your lips
You crush me
when you don’t look my way
metaphysically I suppose
I barely know you
I’ve mostly invented you
in my head
like a character in a fable
creating expectations
that you could never live up to
because everything is better
inside my mind

I stay up at night
wondering if you’re as lonely as me
You must be
We’re alone in our acumen
No one gets me like you
the way I see art
the way you drink to escape the hell in your head
I wonder what you’re trying to forget
With every sip
every intellectual prose
Our minds slow dance
to Sam Cooke in the moonlight

The truth is
you could be anyone
I just need someone
to think about
to obsess over
to distract me from myself
so that I don’t realize who I am
and fall back into the abyss

In my head you like
néo-noirs
Dorothy Parker
and ***** martinis
like me
We talk and talk
about decades we never lived through
romanticizing the music and fashion
neglecting the oppression
You help people all day
and slay dragons at night

Something about that cocky smirk
reminds me of him
It makes me nostalgic
of all the words left unsaid
that I can whisper to you instead

You lull me to sleep every night
with mellifluous nothings
and I sink into a slumber
and dream of your ocean blue eyes
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead

Then I wake up
and you’re not there
you never were
you’re not real
just my own imagination
playing cruel tricks on me

We would never work
I’m too grounded in my hopes for the future
to fly to the moon with you
Your glasses are too tinted with rose
to see me in the light
And I’m too cold of a person
to start a fire with you

Your face changes
from time to time
but you’re always here
radiating in perfection and fabrication
I wonder what you will look like
next time
I don’t know who you will be
but I know that you will
crush me
all over again
I think I made you up inside my head

- A Mad Girl’s Love Song

The people who can’t fall asleep to silence
are the people to be the most worried about
The people who are terrified
to be alone
with their own thoughts
with the voices
Where darkness knows no bounds
there’s a reason it can’t be measured
They don’t make bedtime stories or lullabies
for people like us
The monsters under our beds never go away
they just get scarier with age
Because we chase our nightmares
the way others chase dreams
Strangled by our own memories
I’m looking for gray
in patches of black and white
Blood still drips from those sunflowers
painted on my wall
when I dare to close my eyes
because I’m still the broken girl I always was
counting sheep in my ripped nightgown
torn like my innocence
Clutching onto my teddy bear
lost like my soul
Hush little baby
don’t say a word
You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s ears
with your pain
There’s nothing to distract you from you
At least we can behave like stars for awhile
For we never shut our eyes
until the sun is in the sky

- Insomnia

Does she ever catch
that grin on your lips
or the glimmer in your eye
when you’re thinking of me?
I bet you draw my portrait in your sleep
Your blue rose
Your broken diamond
You never forget the lyrics
to your favorite song
See me
Breathe me
Bleed me
Don’t forget me

- Selfish

I wonder when I’ll stop
looking for approval
under the sand
buried like your heads
I wonder if I’ll ever live my life
in honor of me
instead of
in spite of you
I’ve splashed in these shallow lagoons
and climbed these trees a million times
but I don’t belong here
because a purpose for someone like me
is too colossal to be contained on land
So I sail away from the island you’re all sired to
and I find bliss in the places you’ll never go
I drop my anchor
where the tides are high
and the minds are open
It’s a shame you’ll never experience this beauty
because you’re too afraid of drowning

- Shallow