I miss you more than my words can utter
and I miss you, more than any tear could clutter
Nor my liver nor lungs love me
Nor my brain that'd been damaged
by the sugar of sin
Check the heart I gave you
After I gave yours back
*******************
I miss you
so much

I wonder if death is the pen
in the story of my life
and that life is the paper
like the canvas of an artist
I wonder if the pen burst
or if I have a creative author
I wonder and wish even more
that my paper can just end
and my story can be published
in your library of life
I wish, oh I wish
the paper will befriend the pen
like the beauty tamed the beast
and the sugar of sin held him tight

To all the goodbyes
I say goodnight
To everyone that dies
I hope it's bright

To everyone;
With a razor
Hand of pills
Tied rope
Dangling keys
Extreme height below
Finger over a light trigger
Electricity at hand
Open propane tank
Empty plate, with full glass

Stop, think about who you're leaving behind
I know my words aren't going to stop you, but just read
Did you bother to write and leave a note?
Is it worth it then?
Saying you're sorry, knowing you'll leave someone behind?
Stop. Think about why you're doing it
Do you have nobody?
Think about your opportunities that'll fly past
The chance of ever meeting someone?
Did you lose someone?
Think about if you'll actually see them again?
Being bullied?
Fight back, with whatever you have
Life shoved you down?
No, I'm not asking you to get up!
I'm telling you to get your *** into a nap
Think about all the possibilities that might not be
Think of all the opportunities and people in the future
Think of your legacy
Think of anything except the pain
Now balance the pain and everything else
Want to jump? Skyfall
Want to shoot? Paintball and games
Want to hang? Bungee
Want to overdose? Take 10% of it and party
Suffocate in propane gas, or blow up? Cook a nice meal, invite a friend or family. Surround yourself. No friends and family? Find a friend, build a family.
Want to speed wrong side of the road? Speed on the right side of the road and get carried with the wind, do it over again
Want to cut yourself? Cut off the pain and wrong influences
Electrocute yourself? Rather save electricity and watch a good movie with friends or family. Have none? Watch a movie alone, play a game online. Make friends, build a family
Want to starve yourself so you can get drunker and finally forget it all, when your liver gives in? Eat a lot more, blow off some steam at the gym and build a body that girls/guys would like, attract them and make new friends. Drink with friends.

I've tried many things, some of them didn't work out, or I couldn't stay awake longer. Create new dreams if the old ones died. Work hard for them. Achieve something
"At least leave a ******* legacy behind" is what my bestfriend, Steph used to say
"You can get out of this alive, but maybe a little ****** up, but anything damaged can be repaired" My bestfriend Josh used to say
"Life can carry you away without what you thought you needed" my bestfriend Divene used to say

Even more quotes from people I've lost in my life, so I ask you just think about it all
Still going through with it? Remember it's a one way ticket

Draggéd into this hole
That temporarily makes
All the empty whole
Celebrating without cakes
Alone in drunken sorrow
Who's tears may I borrow?

Someday far away
Before I'm old and grey
I'll be alright again
For seeing you means less pain

We looked into the darkness
You said it was bright
I trusted you
And thought myself blind
We stood out in the cold
You complained of the heat
I trusted you
And I removed my jacket
We were submerged in water
You said it was land
I trusted you
And I stopped swimming
Trust is not truth.