I draw on cigarettes,
Doodle with resin-
Blisters on my fingers,
They all think I'm playin'.
The colors brown & red
Are escaped when I shut my eyes,
And when I turn my face inside
I'm fine with what I see.
It's not dark, pretty light-
It's all clear skies,
Even with a chance of showers
There's always a sunrise.

i'm afraid of falling,
especially in love
a feeling that pulls me under,
drowning consciousness

I'm afraid of falling,
especially in pain
a feeling that saddens,
drowning hope

here, 26, and by the sea
where my body finds
the first rest it has
ever known

i close my eyes
i go back in time
i travel into the mountains to
find her

myself, a small child,
braided hair and shellshocked

i ask her if she wants to
catch fireflies in a mason jar,
she does so with splendor.

i ask her if she has ever seen the ocean
i ask her if she wants to come with me
i ask her, softly, if she wants to leave

we drive to the coast
she picks the music
she delights in the journey

i arrive and save her
just in time,
that she may never know
the taste of blood.

on her lap, her jar of fireflies,
a little light to
guide us home.

After years of turmoil and deception
Of another’s making,
Finally comes peace of mind.
How glorious
That
stillness
sounds.

It’s easy
to say
Sorry;
It’s not so
Easy to
Mean
What you
Say

she catches constellations in
her dreamy eyes.
in daylight, she runs through
tall grass, clovers, cattails
she searches for sunbeams, for
a speck of hope to satiate
her appetite. she
dresses her spiral curls
in dandelions, lilacs,
whatever lives in bloom.
she carries daydreams,
among wounds,
bathes in the creek,
alone, washes them clean.
every muscle untensed,
every fear released
when she walks in a room.

flesh separated
from temple to toe
cracked like an egg
scored clean through the marrow
scraped of all utility
disregarded past my prime
left as a pile of rotting innards
futility found to be a punishable crime
and as i lay in waste
extinguished and razed
borrowing hope
and counting my days
i realize that my dereliction
is a symptom not my being
i have a purpose beyond your shrinking views
you would never free me

that's something one can only do for themselves
and the answer won't be found in anybody else








(you lied to me and i believed you)

i'll put myself back together
staples, glue, and thread
and get the fact that you don't love me
through my stupid head

and i'll start from scratch
relocating my sanctuary far from yours
rebuilding brick by brick with ****** hands
until i'm better than before

i'll take the lashings
and accept painful truths
i'll find a silver lining
and even try not to hate you

but with all of my humility at stake
and the maturity i've managed to show
i'm still mortified
by the customs you forgo

my best efforts
don't absolve or garnish your transgressions
nothing makes it better
but at least i learned my lesson