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 Mar 2020 Darren Edsel Wilson
N
She held a heart
tangled by sunflowers,
and a soul dipped in honey

Her voice is
like a soft prayer,
able to convert
an atheist to a priest

Her yellow gaze is the
meaning of happiness  

Her laugh could turn
a cloudy bleak morning
into a sunny melodic haven

I swear on sunflowers
and your eyes
For they’re the only two lovesome
things my eyes have seen and fell for
Inspired by a picture of a friend.
 Mar 2020 Darren Edsel Wilson
N
Despair drips
from my lips,
don't kiss me

My sorrowful soul
awaits death’s kiss,
don’t miss me
Under my wings,
you could fly so high
but high is never high enough
when days become
for counting
and
the weekends a necessity

So confident that I bring you to refuge
from the cold, harsh and boredom
when the warm fumes will intoxicate you
into a better reality
for your life means nothing
without me
.
Drugs
drip... drip ..drip
feel the cold water
hit your empty stomach
just take little sips
stomach growls lull me to sleep
i don't like a full stomach
i don't care that it makes me weak
i don't see a cookie
i see 120 calories
22.8 g carbs, 14.4 g sugar
this is my daily life I'm not a rookie
water has zero grams
of sugar,carbs and calories
so I drink water
i have water for dinner
and for a snack
i avoid the scale
i don't weight myself anymore
cause it makes me feel more like
a beached whale
i don't eat breakfast
i eat one meal at 3pm
some people notice so
i just lie and say I'm fasting...
I fired one up on the loading dock
after eating lunch at the workplace cafeteria
I only smoke after a meal or when I'm contemplating death
and I may be contemplating death
because I just had lunch at the workplace cafeteria

my Mother would have a cigarette after dinner
and one before bed
that's probably where I got it
I got a lot of things from my Mother
and I lost a lot of things when she passed
much of my patience
along with a good chunk of character
I still don't cross the line
it's just gotten a bit further away

the memories of childhood have faded
like dates on old concert stubs
but the pain they both endured
in those last few years remains vivid
a stark reminder that life has balances
that illness does not discriminate
that bad decisions are unforgiving
I also believe that the after
holds balance as well
that someday
we will again be wrapped in the arms
of those we miss in life
and all shall be forgiven
oldie
If you are married or in love
Valentine’s Day comes from Cupid, angles up above
Deliveries to work are gifts of candy and flowers
Evening plans, a romantic candlelit dinner for hours
Followed by hugs and endless kisses
And Many sweet untold wishes

However if you are alone or single
This day is an empty heart that sadly tingles
One by One the coworkers receive their deliveries
Their glances of pity added to my miseries
Their words of sympathy only deepened the pain  
Hoping for the day to end before I go insane

A day rubbed in my face
Now lonely bitterness and sadness are my grace
Hurtful memories of Old verse New
Dinner for One instead of Two
No, I do not like Valentine’s Day
I wish it would Please, just go away

There was a time when I too received deliveries
Before the days of now and my miseries
The man I loved did not come home
I spent Valentine’s Day starring out the window alone
I cried myself to sleep and thought,Life
could not be more bleak, for a new young wife

He came home after a night at the bar
He had bought flowers yet left them in the car
The next day when I awoke
Not a word between us, we spoke

The dozen once beautiful long stemmed roses had wilted
Like our love empty and jilted
I silently took a pair of scissors from the drawer by the bed
Cutting the roses One by One at the base of the bulb head
My husband said nothing only shook his head in shame
Silently, I set down the scissors without placing blame

I made it clear I never want roses on this day
We never spoke of it, what is the point anyway
Valentine’s Day is a memory rubbed in my face
Now lonely bitterness and sadness are my grace
No, I do not like Valentine’s Day
I wish it would Please, just go away
However 36 years today
We are still together to my mismay
Going to the bar with the guys for just one drink are famous last words when you are a newly married man of course I didn’t know were he was the was his story
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