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 Feb 2021 Chaos Kidd
Lewis Irwin
She had eyes like a crater,
Innocent as any girl could be.
I think she had some bruises when I met her,
But it never seemed to deter me.

I chased her like a dog chasing tails,
Was only then I started to notice her ***** nails.
And then those Yellow eyes,
Blue and Yellow never look pretty to my mind.

She belled me with croaky breathes of air,
I rushed to her house shook and scared.
She was slumped against a wall with the choker she used to wear,
Strapped around her arm and specks of ***** in her hair.

She's got track marks like a craters,
Darkness lay dormant in her soul.
A once natural and elegant Beau,
Now alone in the world of ****** and Blow.
Night came and swept your soul away
Staring at space left behind
The depth of your vacant body is heavy
Wish I had the strength to save your sick tortured mind
Written 6-20-18
 Feb 2021 Chaos Kidd
Lori Mack
****** does that to you...

Phone rings,
It's 1 a.m.
Private number.
I know what that means.
"Hello" I say.
His voice is shakey,
He chokes out the words.
"Mom, I just got arrested,
I'm going to jail."
I took a deep breath,
Giving me time to think
Of the right words to say.
"Ok, I love you.
Don't forget to tell them
That your gonna be sick."
****** does that to you...
"Mom, I should of listened to you.
I'm sorry.
Next time I will."
How many next times,
Thinking to myself.
I can't count how many times he's been arrested,
And sent to juvie or jail.
We both knew this time it would be prison.
****** does that to you...
"That's what you said last time.
But you just keep running back to it.
I know your sorry.
No matter what,
I will always love you.
I am holding you right now baby boy."
He cries even harder.
"Mom I'm scared of getting sick.
I really want a cigarette."
21 years old but he sounds like a 3 year old,
With a high pitched whine.
****** does that to you...
Last time I saw him he looked 35
And probably only weighed 110.
Arms scarred with needle marks
Infected sores throughout his body.
Smelled of sweat and dumpsters
Where he had been digging for food.
I barely recognized him.
Where had my son gone?
He couldn't look me in the eye.
****** does that to you...

L. Mack

6/17/18
True story
 Feb 2021 Chaos Kidd
Lori Mack
Puppet Master

You crept in like a mischievious thief.
Intrigued, decieved and retrieved my son.
Influencing and destroying his beautiful life.
Diminished his hopes, his dreams and his self-esteem.
Convincing him he had no future,
No love, no value was to his life.
Your wicked silk spun web of deadly lies,
Mislead him to believe,
That happiness and love cease to exist.
This is your fuel,
This your fire.
Your one and only desire.
You will not quit until they all expire.
******, black, H or tar,
You are a seductive liar.
Your needle point claws buried deep his arm,
Dripping with your poisonous conceit.
Now you are his puppet master.
Dominating his mind, his thoughts and his words.
Your malicious acts preformed through him,
Make him look wild, insane and disturbed.
Each day in your tight intense grip,
My son dwindled and shriveled away.
Becoming your molded and trained apprentice.
Coached to perfection in your twisted ways.
You are as bad as a ******,
A murderer and even more.
I hate you ******!!
You started a war.
I will not let you win!
Let go of my loved and cherished son.
Let him live a full and beautiful life.
I surrender to you myself.
Volunteer my own life.
Take me instead,
Be my puppet master,
Enslave me,
And let my baby live.

L. Mack

9/20/18
 Feb 2021 Chaos Kidd
Jeremy Duff
Sell your dope.
Sell the last of it
and the first of it.

No, don't rail it tonight,
you know you'll just end up
shooting it tomorrow.

Sell your dope.
Sell it cheap
and sell all of it.

Buy roses,
buy chocolates,
buy gas.

Ask her on a date,
to the movies,
to dinner.

Sell your dope,
and kiss her.
What is more important?

You know what is more important.
Your high will last 4 hours, maybe five.
The feeling of her lips will linger.

The feeling of her lips will linger.
Sell your dope,
fall in love.
If you don't sell it tonight you'll shoot it tonight.
If you shoot it tonight you'll buy more tomorrow.
If you buy more tomorrow you'll need to find money.
If you need to find money you'll find money.
Sell it tonight
 Feb 2021 Chaos Kidd
Sad Girl
I'm afraid to stay in
I'm afraid to go out
I'm afraid of the words that leak out of my mouth
I'm afraid of my hands
I'm afraid of my heart
I'm afraid to share my music and the efforts of my art
I'm afraid of the judgement and the lack of support
I'm afraid they will laugh about my pain like it's a sport
I'm afraid of the things that I've left written down
I'm afraid of the sorrows in which I watch myself drown
I'm afraid that somebody is seeing the real me
I am vulnerable here and alone as can be
I'm afraid that my God isn't listening anymore
But I'm much more afraid that I've made his ears sore

I'm afraid to hold on
I'm afraid to let go
I'm afraid to tell the people
I fear what they already know
I'm afraid that I want too many things I can't have
I'm afraid to make myself into an *** and a half
I'm afraid that I'll hurt you
I'm afraid you'll hurt me back
I'm afraid I'll get caught doing what I don't know is bad
I'm afraid of my own journey, will I ever make it back?

(intentional music break)

I'm afraid to write down all of my silly fears
I'm afraid that I'll be in this same place in five years

I'm afraid of the world and the people that are in it
I'm afraid to start off and not be able to finish ****
I'm afraid to play it safe
I'm afraid to sin
I'm afraid of defeat
And I'm terrified to win

I'm afraid of my Mom's sickness taking her life
I'm afraid to be devoured by the same form of strife
I'm afraid if I get famous, it won't be enough
I'm afraid of all the money in the world calling my bluff
I'm afraid that no matter how much happiness I reach for
It won't be enough to repair the pain in my core
I'm afraid that I'm causing my family too much pain
I'm afraid that when I'm gone the world might move the same

I'm afraid that I'm crazy
Even more scared that I'm sane
I'm afraid to be afraid
I'm afraid to be brave

I'm afraid for the kids in this world that feel the same
I'm afraid to write these words down in front of my own face
I'm afraid that, out of fear, what I've written will be erased
For concern of others like me, that would be in poor taste...
So I'll let this one out and pray that I touch base
I'm afraid to be feared for the fact that I'm afraid.
*© KD
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