My dreams are getting washed away in fears
My life is drowning away in tears
Dear smile....where are you???
Why are you so elusive?
It's been ages since i've seen you
My soul is dying to meet you
My lips are dying to greet you
In fact they are aching for your touch
My eyes are dying to see you in the mirror
So please just meet me one of these days
I want to capture that elusive moment on my camera
I hope you're not too camera-conscious
Honestly...life without you seems tasteless
So wherever you are...
...please just come out and meet me
Don't feel shy now

We get bones out of death
And death out of love
We decide that we will never be enough

I ask myself if it will ever be
If just breathing will be hard for me
Because sometimes a hot shower
Feels like a devour

It feels like the only hug I've gotten in years
Because I never allowed anyone to see me in tears
And I've realised that this life
This life

Tastes like Sunday morning, realising that the next day is a chance for things to crumble
And looks like a fumble
With a noose or a handgun
And wanting to run
Away from everything that ever caused you grief.

Tick tock, I feel my time running out
And it feels like all I've ever dreamt about
Was happiness to be kept in the back of my pocket
And to never be the girl who ruined it.

All my life I have been that girl
And maybe that is my place in this world
To be another creature, cast away in the streets
A person, uncaring towards whether she bleeds.

Because dying is not a new feeling to her.

You'll envy every bit of unblemished skin
You see on those without it.
You'll wonder why you never seem to win.
You think you're well, but you're falling into a pit.

You'll cry more tears than ever.
You'll cry as if everyday you've lost,
And sometimes it feels like you'll never
Cry again.

You'll count the cost
Of living
When so tired of giving
You'll slip away,
Vowing to not see the next day.

They'll tell you of all the pain
It will bring to them
When your tears fall like rain
You'll be too numb

To think of anything else
But the road to your death
You'll see your belts
And wish they would take away your breath

You'll lose, you'll gain,
You'll forget who you were.

Today a man told a **** joke.
Everyone laughed.
I stood there and thought about it for a moment
And then I asked,
"What is funny about that?"
The laughter stopped
and they stood there in silence.
The momentary silence of shattered illusions,
There was no answer
Because it wasn't funny
So why laugh?

Please stop trusting me.
I love you but you think that's a good thing.
It's not.

Stay away from me.
Don't you know that I'm poison?
I am.

Things don't work out for me.
You say someday they will.
They won't.

I love you so much more than you could ever know.
Go away.

Blessed is the man
who does not take offense
I'm speaking in the present tense
There is no sitting on the fence
This poem will now take me hence...

An offense will make us stumble
Forget the bluster and the bumble
Our defense will surely crumble
In all things we must be humble

When we see another's error
Are we really all the fairer?
Look Within it will be clearer
Are we looking in a mirror?

When we see reflection's bust
Do we see lines? Perhaps some crust?
Being honest is a must!
What have we done
that WE can't trust?

True of the bird as well the bee
We are all one cloth you see!
Self-assessment makes you free!

This is true humility.


SoulSurvivor
(C) 7/23/2016

Here I wait among the dead
within the shadows, seldom seen
with mind as silent as the grave
a nightmare tucked within a dream.

Though my soul be scarred and flayed
by secrets deep and wounded thighs
There sits a withered hope within
to be the girl from days gone by.

I opened every curtain and every window
and the doors were slammed open as if it helped me
catch a scent of you somehow,
as if it helped me stop you in your tracks.
my heart had something tugging on it,
it almost bursted from racing so badly
and my eyes were blocked from all the aching
or was it just the dreaming
or the running?
I wasn’t devastated about you being gone
and I still missed you –
just in a different way.