What vile monstrosity that I see
Looking back at me.

Darkness fills the void of my lonely heart,
Accompanied by a monstrous hunger for that soul
Which has a hold on my heart.

Watching her as if a piece of art,
I hear a sound within me, an angry growl,
Because all I do is look, and this tears me apart.

But I intend to just watch,
To protect,
To let no man harm nor catch
You, not even myself.

For
You are an art to treasure.

I can’t listen.
My mind is a prison.
Tears fall down my cheek.

My confidence weak.
No appetite to eat.
Thoughts race and prevent me from sleep.

Bags under my eyes.
Whats that in the sky?
They tell me its just a phase.

ADD isn’t real.
Why is this such a big deal?
Little do they know it ruins my days.

Can’t focus in class.
Teachers think its a load of crap.
No one understands that this isn’t okay.

I try so hard.
I studied all night!
But I always seem to fail.

Look at my medication.
Look up the facts.
When will they realize ADHD is real.

Reality and daydreams.
Which one is real?
Which is more important;
The lesson in class, or the color of my nails?

My confidence; frail
My complexion; pale
My mind?
A jail.

But I put on a smile.
Make life seem worthwhile.
Because once in a while I can finish a task.

But pretending i’m fine.
Missing homework deadlines.
It’s like i’m hiding myself with a mask.

Don’t get me wrong.
Some people have it worse.
At least I have a roof over my head.

Although i’ve cried.
I’ve never considered suicide.
But others wish to be dead.

So treat me with respect.
Break the stigma.
And educate yourself.

ADHD is real.
It’s an unfair deal.
So you can choose to understand mental health.

I don’t have enough focus to listen.
And thats what your missing.
This is not a choice, this is something I dread.

So next time you judge me.
Next time you label me.
Remember, some with ADHD wish to be dead.

I have a dream
That someday you'll be here.
In my arms.

But for now you'll be at someone else's.

And I'll be here, waiting for you.

She caught my dreams
with a net like
a broken winged firefly.

She stored it in
the mason jar
of her heart.

My heart ached for the first time in ages when I saw you
My heart ached when you and I were introduced to each other
My heart ached when we talked of how your boyfriend hurt you.
My heart ached when I saw tears forming in your eyes.
My heart ached when I saw you smile a carefree smile.

Whatever you do, whatever you did.
My heart aches.
It aches for you

I'm not fully ready to be with you
I am still figuring myself out
But what if being ready is a myth
Fabricated by those who let fear win
I don't want to let this linger any longer
I need you under my skin
I need you in my veins
In my sheets
In my arms
You have been in my mind
Since the fourth of July
And I can't stand pretending anymore
I know it's not smart
But I need to follow my heart

..And it leads me to you.