Am I even here? I walk throughout and feel so empty. I try so hard to do what is right and even my best attempts are failures. Life never let me down gently. My closest friends betray me and my efforts rarely see any reward.

I am assured that it is not what I do that assures that you love me. I have a standard inside that I cannot even reach. I wake up everyday and try again. Every day I sincerly try. I swear I see the other side but I never get any closer to it.

I am so desperate inside to please you. I am so desperate inside that someone see's me. I have faith and a hope that one day I will see what it is that you see in me. That I find this value or worth that led you to die for me.

You say that you walk beside me and that you have prepared a place for me. I am so eager to be there where I feel welcome and I can forget this suffering. I need you here please dont leave me. I cannot overcome the storm you sent unless you walk with me.

I dont mean to be dramatic or complain or come across as ungrateful for all the blessings you have given me. I just want to be with you in the place with no tears. I want to live and I want to be better than I have ever been before. I want to fish with you on crystal shores. Belong to something greater than me.

-RSC

A massive weight shifts between my shoulders. It’s another fight, I am getting older. One more step, I grow bolder. See me out there, on that thin wire. Juggling my life at the same time trying to aspire. The pain didn’t set me back; it lit in me a fire. Your words sharp like a blade and my heart for hire. Elusive to the noise, I climb higher.
I’m eviserating the catacombs of an empire.
I am not trying to scale the ladder. I’m tearing it down to the mire. I am not dousing the flame, I am feeding the fire.

If we are walk this way, we need to dress the correct attire.

Clearly there is an internal fight, a struggle for power. I am not built to last, I eventually get tired. But the problems that disappeared just reappear taking on another form.
I do my best to keep my balance and keep walking this thin wire.

There is a silence in the noise of a mob
I can feel my heart. The story has to end or at least on my part. Will I hit the net below to sweet depart?

Or Shall I just keep juggling as I walk? It doesn’t matter if they think I am a fool; just as long as I do my part.
Life is a circus, living it is an art.


-RSC

You think you got it all figured out. It All make sense in your head. Until that tinglin starts rumbiling in your chest turns from stress to dread.

Countless minutes you will never get back and the problems you had were few to many and you carried the weight of them upon your back.
The problems were few and now they begin to stack.

The gasp will surely ruin you; when it hits, it attacks. You find the closest thing to you and slide down it with your back. Find yourself layed ruined until you find yourself on your knees and hands. This is the epitome of the broken man. The hardest hit to the heart surely would **** the average man. Yea but you keep going and God just praying you can find your way back. There has to be a reason that this happens to me? Yea well I have faith in time you will begin to see.

Listnen," friend to friend " these things tend too surely pan themselves out. I know noones perfect but you can try to be. But if the risk is too high you can find the balance or try to work something out or in between.

But right now the most important thing you can do is just breathe. Heres a bag, put your head between your knees. Slow down, control the pace of your breathe. think only about overcoming this, just breathe.

-RSC

A man in his suffering bridaled by his toungue. A collection of thoughts that are reduced to a sum. With his fate at hand at the rolling of a thumb. His attempt at redemption is met to be shunned. He will forever be held by the passing of the moon and sun. He watches helplessly wanting to say so much but never does. He is his own prisoner. He want's to be but never does. He is the man who does not understand true love. He is the man that once was.

-RSC

The sun rises over the hills touching everything turning it gold. The dew rises from the cactus as the scorpion rises from it's slumber; surely a sight to behold.

  Another day has begun another story is yet to be told. For it has been written so many times it has became a story of old. But today is no different. It is the day the world was sold.

Our protaganist a young man is not carried by the plot. He is not conflicted by his emotions. He needs no changing of his thought. He instead drives the story forward with the unraveling of his soul.

He finds himself pitted between himself and the world. Like a tree that is battered by the wind refusing to fold. He is no ordinary man, he himself has a well defined goal.

Although his expection is not certain he has yet be told that the road ahead is trecherous; it is filled with opstacles and it has many holes.

His plan is to stand his ground and by no amount of money can this man be sold.

If you find this man to be unwilling to change, there is something you must know; this man has been here before.
This man has seen with his eyes just how the story goes.

His countrymen are in turmoil held captive by the idea that a tyrant would have complete power or complete control.

They suffer from hunger for lack of rations. They trust not one another for fear that they may delivered over to the one that is in control. They our desperate for a hero

But little do they know that one of them would spark a fire that would trigger a movement that no authority on earth could slow.

Rumors of his valor would spread across the land. Surely this is he that would take the stand. All to soon would the time be that a man would rise to power. That there would be a new king in the land. One who could break the powers and fairly distrabute the wealth by the turning of his hand.

The people were filled with hope while the weak could barely stand.

His movement grew in numbers his trust would cascade in the enemies betrayal amongst themselves. Even the powerful tyrant's minions would show support for this man.

The moment was here so fast as if it were controlled opposition. Now it was time for the peoples voice to be heard. It was time they take a position.

Put they're trust in man or support the opposition.

As you would guess the choice was all so easy, so many would say. Little did they know that would be when they gave what little they had left away.

Plunged into chaos for the people had been betrayed. This man was not they're hero. He was the embodiement of they're willingness to give it all away.

-RSC

The wind off the ocean reaches inland carrying a thought for me. Some would say an epiphany and some would not believe.

Without direction it is a burden that's fire is dwindeling. I scatter to find twig's that gather the heats intensity.

I have spoken to soon to see it's light burn out to see the light veer away from my feet.

I counted my egg's before they hatched. But I did not count the cost.

I blame everyone and everything but me.

-Rsc