They thought she was a beauty queen
With a beautiful face
She was a pretty thing
But her heart was cold as space
With a glare that left a mark and sting
Her soul is a dark and empty place

I am
                             A dancer
                             A writer
                             An artist
                             A musician
A creator
                             But if you
                             Wanted
                             To see
What I create
                             A dance
                             A story
                             A painting
                             A song
I would
                             Refuse
                             Turn Red
                             Stall
                             and Deflect
Your attention
                             Because
                             I am
                            Afraid
                            My creations
Will let you
                            Judge me
                            Criticize me
                            Hate me
                            Mock me
They are
                            A piece of me
                            A thought
                            An emotion
                            A fleeting moment
And they are
                            Mine
So if I show you
                            I trust you
Please don’t betray my trust

I don't wear makeup.
I don't want to.
I don't want a pretty face,
Smiling and nodding,
Lulling you into a false sense of security.

Children are being ****** out by their own parents!
People are being murdered by the officials meant to protect them!
There are people so scared of their emotions they would rather die than confront them!



And you're ****** because I don't meet the beauty standards you adopted from our society?


Everyone is being forced to say sorry
And smile
And giggle
To make themselves and others believe that the superficial problems they face are dire
And that when they solve that they've accomplished something
And that everyone is just swell.

Not me.


I'm more blessed than I'll ever know
More fortunate than I'll ever appreciate and I'll do my best to save everyone,
To fix what is wrong.

So if I become over zealous
And ***** up my face
And disturb you
And force you to reconstruct your worldview
I'm not apologizing

And if you hope to take solace on beauty afterwards
To seek comfort on the familiar
My face still won't be made up

Broken crayons still write but broken dreams remain shattered.

Sleepless nights
moon beams loveless
empty ache within
lost im realms unseen

Softly it kills
swiftly it finishes
consistent and nightly
sweet dreams diminishes

Clouds of shadows
hide the sparkle in my eyes
dilated pupils in the dark
silently eaten apart

Admired but unaccepted
too much yet never enough
wanted but unworthy
embraced yet soon given up

No rest and no restlessness
breathing the darkness numb
these are my consequences
my scars, my secret wars

Sleepless beauty
damsel in distress
bound upon a tower
my heart and I
both longing for slumber

a nagging blanket of
blame
tucks me into bed every
single night

dreading walking into
doors i've known for years
because life was better
back then

it's hard to pinpoint
the exact moment
when home became a house

but i think it's the day
i lost the ability
to know who i was
on my own

and that was a long time ago

Silence is not keeping quiet
because you have nothing
to say...

Silence is having a lot
to say but no desire
to speak...