It’s been four months since the sun last shown.
Since I last said goodnight.
The stars twinkle,
And the lamplights are an illusion.

Sometimes, I can pretend that it’s the same.
Sometimes, I remember that the sun is also a star.
The stars I see now are just a bit further away;
They don’t shine as bright.

I want to get on a rocket ship
And fly far far away.
I want to forget about this sun and its tragedy.
I will find a new sun

The new sun will shine brighter.
The flowers will grow taller.
The world it shines on will be more beautiful.
I will say good morning again.

I’m the most stereotypical teenager you’ve ever met.
I spend all my time with my friends.
I like frappuccinos and I’m obsessed
With my social media pages.

I fell in love with a boy;
And, when he broke my heart,
I sobbed on the floor for weeks
And then dyed my hair blonde and moved on.

I wore a pretty blue dress and sparkly heels to prom.
I graduated at the top of my class,
President of the honor society,
Friends with everyone.

I’m your stereotypical teenage girl.
I’m the main character in a Disney channel original movie.
I have everything, I think.
Why can’t I sleep at night?

What they don’t tell you in the movies
Is that when I’m not with my friends, I feel lost and alone.
When I was heartbroken, I fell apart.
I’m successful, but at what cost?

The stereotypical teenage girl gets 3 hours of sleep a night.
I spend most of the night doing work,
But I also spend time texting my friends and flirting with boys.
When I’m alone with only myself, do I still fit the stereotype?

I may not be an teacher like my older sister. I may not be a pastor like my older brother. But I can write.
This Is Where I Lead, I may not be my older siblings but I have lead Writer's Club as vice president in high school and I have lead Writer's Guild as vice president in college. My older siblings had to be taught how to lead. I could lead crowds even if it was small crowds ever since I was a kid, I had leading down to a science by high school due to my natural instincts.
This Is Where I Lead, I hardly ever lied growing up but when I did my mom would notice. My siblings had no idea how much strength it took going up against mother mentally and emotionally growing up because none of them ever did it. My mom always thought something was wrong with me even I was being a good person front and center for her.
This Is Where I Lead, I have always been opinionated and outspoken because I hung out with geniuses so of course I would play catch up in the matter of minutes at lunchtime and have my voice be heard. We would have a different topic every day so I felt like a reporter in a good way. The nerd table would be filled with music nerds, writing nerds and a couple of science nerds. Being a nerd requires being strong willed, being looked down upon by the popular people, tough skin, and having to deal with bullies.

Hey...hope you are doing great
Because the last we met...it was the eighth
I remember...that august starry night
when we had a fight!
You said...I had a smile on my lips...but sadness in my eyes
You knew all about my secrets and lies
My anxiety was all over my head
There were voices living...I wanted dead
It was easy to say for you
But...it was me who was all blue
I said," You won't get it!"
You said," Being fake...is not worth it!"
I ran inside with tears in my eyes
Leaving you alone...for the coming starry nights
But these days, poets are writing about you
How mesmerizing you are, but sometimes sad too...
I got kinda jealous... as I thought it was only between us
But...then I realized...you were outside everyone's window on dark nights
It was just me...who had closed mine...right?
I came across you last night
You looked so beautiful...dressed all white
Your glow...spread all across the sky
That I had to stop to say a hi!
I remembered my childhood...how you followed me everywhere
whether it was the ice cream store or granny's home..
we went together here and there
It feels kinda sad to share you with million
As you had and have many secrets to listen
The nights feel complete with your curves
whether it's Sun, me or the ocean
Dear moon, you are everyone's first love♥

-

i spread sugar across the kitchen table
and use my index finger to start from
deep scratch, penetrating it's layer to
the smooth wooden surface below

writing characters into gritty detail
within it's fine grainy media, i finish
each line without any practical means
to re-work the structure

they are my sweet licks by finger tips,
rows of tasty words that lay bare upon
a temporary tablet— in a raw form
which will soon be swept into a dust pan

just a musing on a mess at a place
meant for dining, i remove my
thoughts with a hand held brush—

yet traces of its ghost now linger
in a fragile film awaiting your
consumption...


s jones
2008-2021


.