In quiet days that hold me
With a pulse so gentle, declining,
I can’t find my final outcome.

When days are trembling, and hours are out of place,
I look for faces that aren’t in sight
And for those warm rays that were somewhere mislaid.

As the day breaks apart, as the night is all I know,
I shall imitate that smile I once bore, that life tore away.
As discomfort reigns, I shall let my memories suffocate as they fade.

A feeling that developed long ago,
Now surfacing to encumber my hope;
Confusion born from derision, those looks
So foreign - a language life would not endow.

I just shut my eyes to the glare of life.

I walked in a sea of gazes, flailing
In a world bereft of understanding;
In this place, my existence is entombed -
A piece that won’t conform to their puzzle.

I just wait, weightless, until life subsides.

In this daze I stay, breathing shallowly,
Waiting for my friends to send me away.
In this barren space where thoughts interlace,
I accept the past as my resting place.
In this ruined form that ceased to belong
Was a child’s plea so starved of life, soon gone.

This vessel to which I am bound, it wakens
To a world where misery lays, profound;
In its path are broken smiles, forsaken,
And trailing hands that tell of unheard sounds.

Lost in this place of wretched lights blaring,
I hear words of comfort and derision -
Voices that are lost to senses failing.
To the scream that follows, none shall listen.

Musings, dreams - they come and go, ebbing so;
Waves of grey that **** me in, detained colour
Washed ashore a beach with sands that swallow.
Here, those thoughts beset me: now, forever.

As the haze falls, the memories beckon me,
Hands now numb as they reach for nobody.

Sometimes I wish to slip away, unknown,
Fall away from everything that I know;
I would etch pain into every last bone
And cast the fire out to dwindle and go.

Sometimes, in an hour that becomes daunting
I wish to banish my mind away to nought
And lose the cold thoughts taunting, following.
But the cold - it will never leave these thoughts.

Sometimes, when my will gives in and topples,
The fear hastens as the anguish thickens
And that feeling fastens, the cold throttles -
Choked words are lost to voices so hidden.

As warm colours merge to grey, distorted
I  see a world so distant and thoughtless.

My mind spinning, insanity brimming
From the voices that chant their tune;
In the glass, a husk, sanity leaving,
Cast from its remnants, discarded too soon.

Incessantly, the vultures devour me,
Gorge on this fractured mind, let it expire.
And that feeling consumes - the agony,
And that feeling burns - the scream of liars.

The fire has died, now a dullness looms;
The vultures but a cry, leaving me here
With an emptiness that all but consumes.
Consumes until the voices chant their tune.

In the dark, I am no longer taken,
No more pursued by those judging gazes.
Absent from this world I stay, forsaken,
But existing - hiding from dead faces.

In the dark I am suspended, frozen
Forever in this world which feigns to care;
Time has been lost, the days and weeks broken.
I stand still, decaying into nowhere.

In the dark, I waken to the calling
Of one too many thoughts pulling me down.
This place of solitude - it means nothing,
Not when tomorrow's the day I will drown.

In the dark, I can hide for no longer,
Those dark thoughts grow forever stronger.