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,how do you know when
(a human is too broken?)




<•>

human too broken?

like the light bulb, removal from its fixture, a simple shaking revelation of the tinkling filament spent, something that cannot be repaired, the only option is replacement and that makes
you cry

the empty box of oatmeal raisin cookies, you find secret’d,
hid by you, not to be found by you
at the bottom of the kitchen garbage,
but box betrayal, by the chartreuse tipped box lid sided
peeking upwards, asking, silencing screaming,
what did I do to deserve
this degrading

like the blouse now too tight that it brings stares as the buttons strain, unwelcome attention unintended,
you know it but still pretend not to see,
for you both once loved that silky guise that so
heightened the high tender, the match of your pink rose skin letting, no! making
your eyes glisten, like broken filament glass, on the sidewalk,
recalling the pleasured admiration,
rain remembered from the
prior priority of a life consisting of only
perfect gifts

so mean revert to the poseur question; this is how...

remove the human from a fixed place, whimpering-threatened,
you may hear clear the crackle cackling  of the innard shards against the misperception of a body intact,
even if you do,
no repair service you want,  can be found, see it nowhere,
is it even
anywhere advertised?

the body presumed intact is secret’d under a tactile coverlet,
holey scupperrd holy cuttered
so that the cells and bicuspids, the threads
no longer function in a tandem,
you keep it in the closet closed,
in the back, deep hid, where,
when it screams why,
it can be safe ignored,
because  ‘betrayed’ is no longer a word,
in your globe's dictionary,
the parental controls activated by you to
save your own inner child’s unconstrained confusion,
it has been removed


so the broken glass, the clothes you dressed each other,
if not weep-well,
well enough hid,
the fit is off,
the fit is off,
the coverlet ripped so bad and neither cares
an unexpected poem, unplanned, needing work
aug 4-5
And you sit there
Drowning in your own silence
Trying to scream
But your voice didn't reach
The void that you are trying to fill
When he left you in mid-air.

Hang on, you tell yourself
But you know you couldn't hold it anymore
You are losing your grip
To that tiny hope within your heart.

You tried. And tried.
Until you decide to just give up.
Let go. Forgive.
But not forget.

You forgive.
Spared nothing.
But babe, you made the right decision.
Yes, let go.
Cause your heart deserves to be free.
Your heart does not need to be so heavy.

With your brokenness.
You stood up
And made an unbroken wings out of it.
Yes babe.
For the second time.
I'm telling you.
You made the right decision.
With that wings,
Now go and fly.
Close your eyes

Your world, not extending
beyond the soft quilt under
your skin, unending


Soft ripples of cloth, and picturesque seams
Nothing here but
You, me, the sky, and soft dreams

I'll reach up and take the stars from the sky
If only to lay them at your feet
to place them in your hands
to bring light into those glazed eyes
or give a glow to a world so bland

and each one would be folded
into a beautiful origami castle
I, the lord, and you, the vassal
Or perhaps me as the king
and you as a queen, whichever
My gentle playmate.. which one is better?

I'm a majestic creature of the sky
You're an empty-faced child on a quilt
Each star shall be used as a stepping stone
so I might meet you in the place I built


Let us meet, as lovers, or
at least equals
on this starry floor
And your body falls into each soft fold
It's here, right here, that I can hold
you close, keep you safe and warm
so you, from the rest of the world
I'll withhold

Consider this a "romantic poem".. but not about me! Actually, this is a story I've sort of written. :)

Hmm, let me try to describe it. A little girl living in a world all her own, a world that's nothing more than an empty quilt with an endless sky. Above her, lives a sort of "sky-creature" and he happens to be in love with her, so he builds her a castle of stars.
 Apr 2018 Anna Melody
brat bunny
I should have listened
I should have done better
I should ... fight for you
But I can't
I want you to be happy
But not when I'm a weight on your shoulders
Stay with me
 Apr 2018 Anna Melody
Lily
My mind keeps spinning,
My heart is breaking,
My thoughts are circling,
And I can’t seem to find any relief.
I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way,
That all the things that are happening to me
Are not that bad, and I shouldn’t worry.
Yet I do, and I can’t stop, and
I know that’s unhealthy,
But I have an overreacting tendency
That’s so natural.
My mind naturally runs in circles,
Like a computer program that is set
To only one function that cannot be
Overrun.
This overreaction is slowly killing me,
From the inside out.
I’m cold, I’m hot,
I’m hungry, I can’t stand to look at food,
I’m okay, and then I’m not.
I’m not okay.
 Apr 2018 Anna Melody
Naomi
For Him.
 Apr 2018 Anna Melody
Naomi
I have heard
Time and time again
Once you fall in love
It all falls into place
But that has not proven to be true
No
I have heard
Time and time again
Once you fall in love
You can stand the tests of time
But that has not proven to be true
No
I have heard
Time and time again
Once you fall in love
The whole world will cheer you on
But that has not proven to be true
No
I have heard
Time and time again
Once you fall in love
Two hearts become one
But this has proven to be true
I know
I know because when I laid my head on his chest
I felt the beating
And the beating matched with mine
And the blood flow combined
And the souls began to intertwine
We were a burning ember that grew into a forest fire
The two hearts made one
They were powerful
They were strong
They were in love
Like oil on metal to stop it from rusting
Like gears in the clockwork to keep the hands turning
Like wheels on a car to keep moving forward
These hearts were a machine
But what happens when a part breaks?
And the metal rusts
And the gears get stuck
And the car won't drive
When he began to destroy his body
To destroy his heart
It destroyed mine
Because they are one
When the chemicals run through our combined blood
When the souls began to get angry and hurt
When his heart struggles to beat
So does mine
When it goes through his body
Enters into mine
When it goes through my body
Enters into his
And my soul
Suffers from collateral damage
Suffers from fear and concern
Suffers from envy and angst
But this is not my true soul
Because when the chemicals end
And the blood runs normal
And the machine begins to work
And the ember spreads back into a forest fire
My soul is full
My soul is pleased
My soul is now intoxicated with passion
The search for fulfillment
Can be found
In the mysteries
In the excitement
As I pray
The chemicals never again go through him
Never go through me
The thought of our ember dying
Makes me weak at the knees
Makes my gut wrench
Makes my hands shake
Learning from our faults
Guiding a lantern through the dark tunnels we enter
Correcting the miscalculatoins
Will bring together
Those two beating hearts
Matched one
Because I fell in love
With falling in love
With him
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