I love the way you come crawling back

Sing false promises

How birds chirp meaningless melody

Turn white morning air to grey diluted clouds

I appreciate how nature is always concrete

Honking goodbyes are fowl flying above our foolish heads

In dark black pupils stories rooted so deep they will never be told

Against skies of blue-black and pink pose in continuous grace

I adore the way you hunt me like a wild predator prowling for it's next meal

I keep track of the number of times you plunge on me
Teeth puncturing prey
Tearing into shreds

And dreams we shared shatter before my empty eyes

You'll come back
You always do

Attracted due to an invisible natural force
Too dynamic to resist

Trouble spilling in paradise
I won't make a peep
Words worthless anyhow
You know talk is cheap
I keep struggles stitched up tight
In patches sewn underneath my skin
Stress wears seams until they snap
Bystanders get a glimpse within
And God forbid living souls witness
Damage or wear and tear
I strive to become a statue
Motionless to every passing stare
I know you wish to be perfect
Such a thing does not exist
I am not the best at navigating
Trails of life that turn and twist
I am rueful for not being grateful
The way you juggle our problems with skill
Probably am an anchor you drag along
Not quitting though hike is uphill
I long to help carry burdens
My arms are simply too thin
Fear I'll drop precious cargo from hands
Soon as movement begins
I would not blame you if resentment
Started erecting high walls
Disappointment forced you away from me
On road paved with regret and missed calls
I don't hear how you are able to see beauty
In my reflection I just see my mistakes
Don't have an explanation
For why heart constantly aches«
But you lift the sun a little bit higher
Clearing dark clouds in skies
With flick of the wrist you beckon their return
Rain pours from both heaven and my tired eyes
I do not think I deserve most poor treatment
All I want is to find your laughter
You've got this bad habit of putting me down
Feeling bad for it after
I should battle FOR you
Not with you
Be my first priority
If you stopped imprisoning my heart
Would realize it's you who holds the key

Is your house built out of certainty
are the walls made thin or stout

Is your mind filled up with questions
do you live in fear or doubt

Is your spirit free or servile
is your will unchained or slave

Is your heart the trowel you build with
and love
— the bricks you lay

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2017)

Sometimes angry with choices
Sometimes happy though you are gone
Sometimes painful to remember voices
Every word replays in mind like a song