Hey there Elephant,
You're type I surely know.

Didn't have a rough fairytale
Not like lucky Dumbo.

The chain held your foot tight,
And won't ever let you go.

No matter how I scream at you,
The chain broke so long ago.

So we'll both forever walk in circles,
Or quietly rock, to and fro.

happy New Years to
the girls like me,
who forgive and forget as if
yesterday didn't hurt
and tie knots over wounds
like they lace up shoes


happy New Years to
all the boys who still cry
at night, over
their fathers who don't love them
and things they were never
taught to say

and happy New Years to
everyone in between, to those
who can't tell black from
white,
good from bad, and still don't
know
how to dress at night

tomorrow might be better.

She seems much too high,
So far out of reach.
Twinkling in a sunset,
But never washed away, by the sunrises bleach.

She's really quite simple.
A bright and shining sky spec.
It's a simple and pure beauty,
Stoic and unreadable at best.

Little did I know,
On the ground which I stood.
Was the only place her light shined.
But explained it away, as soon as I could.

For I am no star.
In no sky do I rest.
So I smiled a sorrowed smile,
And moved on, with more weight in my chest.

New Year's Eve
is it really a new start?
same antique feelings,
same broken heart,

same spinning head,
same lost soul -
is there much point
of holding on at all?

but this year will be better,
my hanging head will rise.
I will not let this fool
of my sorrow lead to my demise.

and so new year please
bring on the challenge.
with it i will grow,
create a new life to follow.

A young heart,
like a fresh wound,
hurts more, when exposed
to the world of sour tongues,
bitter eyes and bland brains

A young heart, hurts
like a healing wound
that stretches to
the demands of life

There's no home,
when you are down
There's no home,
even when you are up

-Kaya

Morning dew peeking through my window

Fighting to shatter my darkness within.

I turn over fighting my demons poking at my soul.


Shouting to me that I won’t last long.

Last couple of days, felt like a nightmare without escape.

Not even my shadow wants to appear from the hell I’m living in.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror echoes my pain, so I avoid my own eye contact, to avoid my pain.


How can you live a life so pure, so true; to have it ripped right underneath you? Evil, betrayal, deceit, hate, ****, die!

Words, feelings, qualities all trying to consume my identity.


How could this happen to me?

As if I could be exempt from suffering.

I forgot suffering, I forgot to expect it, I forgot it exist.

But now its existence wars within me to destroy me.

I don’t want to fight.

Let me give in.

Let me surrender to the truth darkness reveals, to a falsehood the light covered.

All trust – obliterated into a million pieces floating in the air of black and grey.

What will heal me now?

Yet still, I must rise from this ugly place.

The ground is cold and hard to rest on.

The food lacks and taste of bitterness and hate.

There is no sun, only a paralyzed eclipse.

I scream “No more”!

I have to leave this place.

Nothing makes sense.

I fight to remember my reflection without pain.

I must.

There has to be some beauty left in me.


Rise!


I must rise!


I will rise!


I am rising slowly.

Awaken my soul, body and spirit
Awake and be known to thy self
Awake and take hold of the beauty for ashes
Awake -blast open your eyes

No longer to be caught under the muck of past pains
Disappointments have no definition now

Awake and see that you are finally free
Freer than you'll ever be