can not be found in the flesh
For as warm it may be
As soft to your fingers it is
It will lay soft and cold eventually

can not be found in gold
Yes, it never loses its luster
But many coins you need to muster
And no number will fill the gap in your soul

can not be found in others
For the laughs may distract
The facade will crack
And still you will be empty inside

ilusive as it may be
It follows you around
It never left
For within you she rest
Waiting to be awoken
And while the rest might feel great
They serve as nothing but crutches
On your own you must stand
If you are to revel
On the pleasures life offers...

To improve one self
To look on path troded
It´s essence

To know there is more
With hunger jump forth
It´s rushes

To balance the mind
With the desire of the heart
It´s key

And once held in hand
You will understand
That happiness flies like a bird
But behind she left
Tranquility
And the knowledge
That you can get it again...

warm blankets and cold winds
heavy rain
outside the window pane

its a happy day
you see
remembering all my dears
while holding the memories near
cause I remember the days
were my friends
are all genuine and true
the smiles , the laughs
and all the tears
we shared
that glowed like the sunflower
that's filled with the power
of our sun.

600 Bottles of Sherry
Are sure to make you merry;
Enough to set you on a writing ******
Sure to last your ten year tenure.

For you, my heaven and my hell,
I sing about me and the world as well,
about the delusions and comedy,
my desires that howl in a black night's dream.

And the tears come by twilight,
but in the sun my song is wild,
with a glitter burning still,
like two stars dancing in the sea.

It’s like I’ve been underwater and everything that I’ve touched or saw was altered by the water’s bewitching weightlessness
I only saw the beauty of a long-bodied fish swimming circles around me
I admired its teeth and it’s dark eyes and how it’s dorsal fin cut through the water like a hot knife through butter
It was only when I let it get close enough to bite me that I realized it was a shark

And as my blood floated delicately out of my arm and the salt water poured in and burned my screaming lungs, I was still only entranced by the alluring colors and the significance of the pain

Suddenly I was ripped from the water and the bright sun stunned my eyes
My body weak and pruned from enduring the sea too long
My arm tired and hurt
My lungs barely able to capture air

On a boat, being forcefully taken from the ruby-stained haven I thought I had settled my defenseless revere of a body
The screeches of seagulls pericing my ears

The farther away it took me and the more the dazzling, ruby water in the sunlight faded in the distance, the more afflicted I became

I was hurt that the thing I had admired so deeply would only get close so it could harm me
The aching in my bleeding-out arm warped what was once passion and awe in my mind into an rotten frenzy of rage and disbelief

How could I have stayed down so long and not seen what was coming
Why was I the only one being punished for wanting to see only the beauty in my situation
Why was I alone after staying somewhere I didn’t belong for so long for something else
And why was I the only one that people were angry with

The shark didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to bite me, just like he was never taught that it wasn’t okay to hurt me
I was admiring something because I was told it was supposed to be beautiful and because in nature it was

But when you know somethings nature and what it was influenced by its surrounding to do, the only person you can be mad at is yourself