At my age I lay here awake 3:00 AM on a Thursday Morning yet have to learn to remain still and allow The Lord to help heal my body from the chains of perdition that are constantly rattling at my feet. Fighting to bind me once more to allow my carnal self indulge in Earthly pleasures with a very short temporal joy and comfort that certain actions and activities allow us and our carnal bodies to become either energetic, overly happy, *****, obnoxious, sympathetic,  lethargic, drowsy, unable to maintain proper posture to stand, odd quirks, excessive laughing, unusually hot or cold, euphoric, nervous, hyper or nodding, hypersensitive and lastly grandiose like feelings with boosted self confidence and shift changes in overall mood. For Thousands of years plants and herbal medicines have been created to aid nurture back to health the pain and suffering of the patient must use medicines especially the pain killing medicine administered and prescribed to people suffering from a bad car accident or a serious life threatening injury leaving them in constant excruciating pain needing to take the pain medicine for managing their hurtful pain the person must endure to heal yet only time can slowly heal things like such...the part that Doctors  tend to leave out of their strict warnings about the medicines potential of abuse and alarming rate of people who become hooked to that mellow, easy warmth euphoric/dreamy/drowsy/slightly off balance feeling.  Brings them a temporal time of peace joy and comfort...yet that feeling is the high provided by the medicines form of functionality throughout the human body. Slowly other drugs with similar potential of abuse is high are MDMA, *******, Methamphetamine,  Synthetic Drugs, Nicotine and Alcohol.  Ever since these Drugs became available in the streets millions of people turn to them use them and abuse them to temporarily create that sense of inner peace, fictitious joy, temporary solace, and take the way we feel and block us from displaying our true feelings masking our pain with a temporal method to not feel that pain and suffering if need to be able to alleviate those feelings of terrible pains become bearable to endure. All the other drugs I mentioned earlier also create a what may seem a solid foundation to stand upon to heal your stress, problems, certain circumstances and last but not least our spiritual struggles we carry with us.  This medicating yourself with narcotics to balance and repair what the doctors have finally concluded I as a Mental Patient suffer from the Disease Of Addiction. This is only a mere example of the millions of other addictive behaviors and irresponsible acts we tend to try out to feel as if we are no longer prisoners of what our own minds hearts and bodies desire...yet this is exactly what we must avoid doing to ourselves because is not only wrong to do is unhealthy and has dire repercussions towards our life. Our focus should be figuring out how to spiritually grow up more become a more pure at heart, gentle, genuine, loving towards all, loyal, honest, servicing towards the elderly and disabled, helpful, overall well mannered, respectable and clean. The struggles we face on the daily are for man mainly 1.Females. 2.Finding Comfort 3. Finding Peace 4. Learning to be spiritually still and hear God's voice and gentle guidance through our daily battles 5. Finding Balance 6. Finding Strength & Hope 7. Remembering to put God always first in everything on everything in the presence of anyone 8. Prayer changes things unseen yet to the human eye for this gifts are slowly unlocked by practicing to use our extra sensory energies 9. Denouncing the World to be able to Live beyond this physical Life 10. Seeking God with all your heart mind and soul listening and obeying his commands directed towards your individual path of faith

Be aware we become desensitized towards the right things and our vision becomes blurry with heaviness settling in our eyesight the adversary tries all day and night daily 24/7 and yes 7 days a week to someway separate your relationship with our Lord making us stumble with traps and snares hidden in our lifetime blueprints learning our likes, dislikes, what we love to do and what we hate to be doing...then formulates ways to somehow interrupt your spiritual journey and provide you that same worldly temporary escape from my problems and refocus my energy on doing worldly things because when the Devil has us running around doing everything he asks of us to do you know daily day by day night by night slowly but surely that your body mind and soul quench for the presence of God thirsty for his water and hungry for his bread. The day is yet to come when I completely delegate myself to NOT ever use drugs again. Nevertheless, I am counting on God's hands and divine plan to finally click with me and start to work on it building the pillars of my faith stronger bigger and evermore beautiful. Knowing that he will never leave me and always and forever forgive my constant sin and nagging transgressions to be blurted out washed away by the holy precious sanctified pure and perfect blood of Jesus Christ. I am far from where I should already be but am no where close from where I began so thanks Lord am grateful to you for everything and everyone who choose to believe in me and allow me to vent it out. To God be the glory honor and everlasting supremacy and it's power to delegate perfect judgement upon the wicked generation of children who have given their lives to serve themselves their God and his system. I am not judging them at all am simply pointing out the obvious but yet even in a fog of thick darkness a state of profound sin and constant transgressions being thrown ed to God's throne he can still save them and shoe them the Light for they are lost souls without the Lord. I believe is never to late to say to yourself with dedication and a sincere open heart fixated on change...then God will for sure work on you till you become part of our sheep once lost now found by the Great Shepherd Herder Of Lost Souls.  No sin is bigger than my God to handle. Remember that as long as Right fights off Wrong in your mind and heart still speaks in that secret tongue bestowing knowledge and wisdom with Firm Gentleness and Loving with an open heart...forgiving with sincere intentions but last and of radical importance to communicate with the Lord via Prayer ... and at least once or twice a week fast and utilize that fast to pray with extra emphasis on the lost ones out there seeking to be one day spotted by the Light Of God.

Have you ever wondered why the our bodies made from flesh empowered through the blood and yet deep within the Human mind is invented the reasonable logical ideology of common reason, sense, wisdom and knowledge come from. The simple idea that we as alive, conscious,  intelligent and versatile unique type of creature within the grasp of the animal kingdom considering us humans mammals. Ever since we as species commenced to use language as means of communication that's when everything we know of that is of Ages Of Old the common theory of us Humans evolved to become the only species to use the power of reasoning and problem resolving minds allowing the human race to create through trial and error our first societies made a trading and landing system to work together as a community of people who with sharing ideas on life dilemmas as a whole faced together it's problems yet was smart and clever enough to create new inventions of ways on how to solve all their struggles in times long past. Where Humanity made a turning point was in the emergence of different religions and totally distinct ways they view the Afterlife how to get to remain alive yet made out of ethereal essence instead of a body made out of flesh bone and blood? As the story is told through and shared from tribe to tribe place to place city to city and country to country people viewed living differently making small yet direct changes in their livelihood way to view right from wrong or even yet the color of people's skin. With each emergence of a World religion came it's story events ****** and ending coming to a focal point that all religions claim there is an afterlife that follows a Deity that first proclaims to be God or a God that made all in all at a time when not even time existed. From there things speaking in layman's terms all religions rely on narrating an elaborate complex beautiful story of how all things came to be. Yet retains it's main purpose in being made into a religious sect in the first place...to place a peaceful mental picture of what we can only imagine being there would be like...ultimate sense of bliss and joy. A safe haven. However Humanity as a whole always have retained the constant taint of being double minded creatures. Therefore a duality was formed to maintain the what so called state of balance between good and evil. Right or Wrong. A mere simple choice we all make daily without fail. What will I choose to follow today? Run with God or play with the Devil? Yet deep down I truly believe hope and pray that what ancient history dictates occurred must have some truth there within all that collection of gospel books put together and constructed in such a unique secret divine and holy way for those Holy Books all assure they are the one true way to get to Paradise. Yet deep within our carnal shells waiting to become too old to breathe and finally give into death there is where it all begins going back as pure essence of spirit "the soul" escapes to be freed from his physical mortal shell to go back to it's original form ... a ethereal essence made of different shades of light and darkness. Going back to the Creator to be sentenced into eternal life with God or eternal separation from him and his throne. Nevertheless, that may be an example of the Christian faith system other religions are different. At the present moment in time still humanity is mostly composed of majority of people are deep down skeptical and agnostic about the way they see religion and dogma. We as a species (the Human Race) ever since the introduction of language came to be...that is when the way we think inspect look and investigate things completely in a moral sense saying using common sense and logic and reason...we become over time more wiser smarter and more clever giving the birth to by simply subjecting another alternative to a simple 1 way rule and yet humanity has devised a way to create a 2nd rule overriding the first one. To make things clear here we we're once perfect eternal beings with no knowledge of any sort of taint from sin but yet once we began taking advantage of our reason we slowly build small doubts within ourselves with time they become a real doubt giving the opportunity to create a new way to change, shift or make something new out of nothingness. That allowed that small doubts became big doubts then finally tried to defy God's only rule in the Garden Of Eden in Paradise. The downfall became Humanity's loss of eternal attributes and the birth of sin which with time fully matures into death of the now physical body the fleshly sarcophagus containing your individual Soul Matter. The main point of why I share this knowledge with you is to keep you aware, awake and always remind yourself that you have the right to have questions and want logical simple explanation of how it came to be why and for what purpose. It is all a decision a choice we all must make once we are awake and aware do I want to live for the world? Or do I choose to pick up my cross and follow Jesus? Life&Death.

My overactive imagination roams tapping into the rhythmic vibrations of the Multiverse. With each passing moment I converse with my Inner Child "the pure spirit of freedom from worldly views able to only love deeply yet without favoritism forgive all trust all be kind meek and humble to all having a gentle touch towards humanity and their flaws" the Mature Man "a augmentation of millions of ideas, information about what we know and what we think we know about God and it's celestial hosts...combining reason, wisdom, discipline and complexity to what our Creator has made simple for us to understand believe live and abide by....forming a TRUE Relationship with his Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ" and finally our fictional and surreal yet real and "Instinctual Self" pure living conciousness the epicenter of where our child mind develops to a mature mind our IMAGINATION & DREAM Self. In between this transference I had a revelation that my Inner Child and my Instictictual Self where far much greatly developed than my Mature Self and I knew then due to my knowledge of the unknown had vastly growed in massive proportions. High price to pay though for being hypersensitive and deeply gifted with the speciality to bend energies visualize auras foretell Destiny Numbers and write draw and do anything I set my mind to doing outstandingly well over others. My overactive imagination couped with hypersensitivity and able to tap to spiritual dimension freely able to transmit healing or cursing to others thru words of power and Tongues Of Divine or Demonic nature have created a conception that I was born a Schizophrenic and to that I do NOT deny its existence within the inner mechanisms of my conciousness and perception towards Life and reality. It's true I am schizophrenic but I have learned to live with my mental disorder...yet I see it more as a Gift than a curse. Self pity, victimizing myself, self loathe, self deception, self sabotage and grandiose illusions created long ago by my Inner Child is what I deal with in my day to day basis. Visual, Auditory and Inceptive thoughts become real to me combined with excessive amounts of free time and sedentary lifestyle I choosen to adapt to molding my current situation I have become too comfortable with this style of living. Deep inside I want to do different I want to mature and be a full grown man and take care of myself but am so afraid of failing I have given up on trying something new for a change. My reward is slowly self destructing because I feel unworthy of having a different kind of life than the one am currently living. Am terrified of the consequences I'll have to face if I fail at becoming my own self sufficient person that I so much want to be. Nevertheless, God I pray to thee you will empower me to take on this challenge and change and become what I want to become a full functioning Grown Adult taking on a job, financial stability, a wife, couple kids and a happy life. In my case NOT all is lost but I have realized I do NOT like responsibility,  I don't know how to take the right steps forward to be what I envision to be but not all is lost I will keep persuing my dream on one day being able to become and be what I envision ...A happy full Grown Man Mature and wise enough to do the right thing. With God's help and me communicating my current struggles to someone I can trust I can start taking small steps on changing me and my life and lifestyle. So help me God. I realize that for me to finally reach my end goal is a lifetime of progress not perfection. Is committing myself towards doing something different and sticking to the plan layed before me. I have an extremely difficult time going thru change because am so used to being spoiled, taking the easy way out, living a double lifestyle and having ways to prey and use my gifts to exploit others vulnerable emotions and use them as pawns to fulfill my own twisted sense of altered life and reality. This I need to work on day and night to use my gifts to help others instead of how can I benefit from the arising circumstances and situations I am dealing with and what can I gain from playing with people's time, emotions, perception, and energy cues...that I can easily tap into and administer small changes day by day till they start to feel the need to do things how I want them to do it by implementing small radical shifts of change in their primal energy pool. Devicing ways to slowly set them to pay for their time being spent on being disobedient towards theirselves and converting them slowly to become more distant towards their Mature Self in time becoming more disciplined towards self perdition and destruction leaning on a touch of Godliness with extreme amounts of self indulgence towards this World and it's carnal temporal luxuries we all partake into practicing. I want to instead begin to heal them slowly listen more carefully and attentively empower them to be focused on God rather than themselves...on the spirit rather than the instant gratification gained from the temporal carnal pleasures and enjoy the experiences of a deep and personal relationship to a higher power that they can tap to and call upon when in doubt or need. I am NOT saying I haven't done this before with others either but when I have tried they push me away because their afraid of a pure change of mind heart and soul. We are all confined to a prison within our own minds and we are doomed if we don't release them "the mind" from it. True Love is what matters and with it we can truly change the world. May God be with you always. Thanks for reading.

Why don't we just unite and fight for a better tomorrow? Why can't we just love others without limitations or barriers...either be social, economical, ethical, moral, spiritual and cultural? Why can't we all as Humans focus on ending racism, fascism, extreme poverty, wars, destroy and get rid of all biological chemical weapons of warfare their hydrogen and atomic bombs? Corruption among the Government Elite? Focus on creating a more eco-efficient  eco-friendly forms of renewable energy cleaner water food without growth or GMO hormones or clone artificially genetic engineered drugs being injected into our food? Why can't we demand for a different kind of monetary system based on people's time, age, health and create and build communities together not being split into socioeconomical groups from The Elite 1.2% of the world  population to the homeless guy down the road 32.3% of world population with 66.6% being middle to high class citizens from the world populus and allow them all to have a house a car a phone and the basic amenities? Why can't we all separate our differences and see where we are all equal from one creator mandated to live for him serve him but yet serve all at the same time? Would there ever be a day when all religion set aside their differences and just unite to find the ultimate truth about God and the mysteries be revealed to all from all their Holy Books? Why can't we accept our past wrong doing and try NOT to conform to the system but to restructure it and make our planet clean, hospitable, amicable, free from violence, lust, greed, wrath, sloth, ******, lies and hate. Slowly seems like people are starting to wake up spiritually and are awaking from their darkness and slowly starting to follow the light...seeking it and have realized that without God and Christ and the Holy Spirit none of this is possible. So many questions...so little answers...yet no one is a righteous soul seeking sanctification and pureness first which is in other words seek God and everything shall fall into place. We are vessels that at birth we are indoctrinated, trained to become integrated to a global chain of communities ******* to a super artificial construct of idealism & moralities yet with boundaries set to limit our growth spiritually so we slowly fall off from the days of our childhood the first 10 years of life  being the decade of innocence the second 10 the decade of mischief & exploration, the next 10 decade of dream development & labor decision making the next 10 mate seeking & family forming the next 10 family forming & education and discipline, the next 10 traveling & enjoying life, the next 10 advising your children & helping them raise their children (your grandchildren) then lastly remaining spiritually entwined with God & Christ thru it all. In the end you will die fulfilled and happy with what you done for it is God's will for us to be happy and submit to his guidance. Ultimately in the end true peace will never be attained here on "this" Earth but the New Earth and New Heaven. May God watch over us all and when this false World peace comes be ready for it's not the real one...so be aware that it's been written and its wheels have begun turning. Christ will come to save his people I just wanna try my best & fight with fear and trembling for my salvation for it is uttermost importance what becomes of me in the NOT PHYSICAL but ETERNAL place to come. Thanks for reading. Stay safe. In Jesus name Amen!

Long past have the Foundation of the firmament upon the Earth has progressed. The lands have been tainted the water polluted the air becomes toxic and Humanity precedes to run its course as the future of all Mankind is threaten by disease, famine, wars and to top it off a New World Order. The age of Information and technological advancement in all fields of study have become more and more susceptible to greed and corruption. The One World Government orchestrating a illusive grand deception of false sense of peace and security for all giving up on the Maker and his beloved only begotten Son the Messiah who came lived among us as a noble lowly servant to all yet remaining the prince of peace the lord of lord's anointed with God's zeal yet perishing on the old rugged cross for you and me to atone all humanity's sinful taint which was shaken by it's very core when Christ rose from the dead 3 days later and ascended to the Maker the Father of all Living things to be seated in the Holy Heavenly White Throne next to the Father who created all carnal and mortal or spirit and immortal beings alike. Once again within us we must all face the temptations bent towards pleasing the flesh yet killing the spirit slowly... or choosing to seek follow and obey to fixate your eye upon Jesus and taming the flesh by NOT our understanding and mastery over our carnal desires but by his who has sent the Holy Spirit for guidance and penance of our daily sins. I ask of thee heal my wounds lord, remember me when my day does turn to night and my final moments of living among you all are long forgotten only remembered to be a distant memory of a Man who seeks redemption from my Worldly trials and tribulations because I do fear the Lord for his judgement is pure  holy and perfect. He prepares a way for me accompanying me thru my daily struggle to maintain my faith remain in his grace and respect honor and live by his precepts set to keep me healthy happy joyful and free. What must I do for Lord you know my circumstances and current situation a matter in which I require your aid in. All I humbly ask of the Maker and all his heavenly host is to show me a proper way out of this constant affliction and perilous times I am currently facing. Yet deep inside me I know you will NOT abandon me my God for it is you who knows all sees all hears all treats all heals all and seeks all to come to true repentance and want us all to become heirs of your heavenly kingdom. With uttermost importance emphasized on this matter I seek you out Lord Jesus please do light the path my feet may walk as I live to serve and serve to live. I have done my fair share and still do my fair share of bad hurtful sins sometimes against me sometimes against others and even yet sometimes against you. I am NOT proud of it at all I want my Life to change I want to make you proud of who I can become with your help guiding me. I know of the plans of perfect design the blueprint of all children born to live and live to die and return to the Father who is the Maker overall God of all creation of which was is and is yet to come. Shall he be forevermore be praised and worshipped till the last human falls to the ground and becomes dust once more transcending thru the Sands of Time returning to the Fade. May you have mercy on me for I know I fall short daily but do know Lord I will give it my very best and attempt to restore what I once had and now I lost. My prayer is sent to you with much grievance and lamentation nonetheless, when I finally reach the end I pray hope and believe you will be pleased with your servant. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost Amen!

My Lord Son Of the Almighty Creator God the Father, I ask with sincere and repentant soul to move on with a drastic  change to be done in my Lifestyle and what I personally struggle with every day the sins I have committed and the damage I done to others by my insolence and ignorant heart by me judging others at times, lying, cursing, forgetting to be grateful, not practicing what I preach, violent, sinning against my body, avoiding prayer, knowing the Word the Truth and NOT being obedient trading my happiness and relationship with God by instead indulging in the pleasures of the flesh...I come Glorious Lord Jesus who sit in the Everlasting Throne Of Pureness, Justice, Honor and Perfection by the right Hand Of the Almighty Father the Creator Of all and all that has ever been will and forever be known or unknown Physical, Spirit or Eternal. I call in distress and with much fear and trembling because I know I must detach myself from my sinful ways, stop giving in to do the same things I have allowed to accommodate and justify knowing that am being convicted by the Holy Spirit to NOT do I still give in and disregard it and commit yet over and over again... as if I use God's  name his word and share with others that I am spiritually awake, aware, and I profess to them such an elaborate unique and masterfully crafted deception but yet has Truth mixed with lies what I have lived and truly have experienced in a physical or mental and even spiritual way and what I have changed and imagined or somehow fabricated to fit and be more interesting or mind blowing to sound supernatural and ethereal to them involving a slight manipulation of reality blending my overactive imagination with reality nevertheless even I being deceived by my own self of  what my relationship with the Holy Spirit is like how I relate it to others and how it truly is in their eyes how it's in my eyes and how God sees it and how he wants me to be. My Beloved Lord Jesus My Reedemer my King and The Only Perfect Man, The Word made in Flesh, Son Of God, Lamb Of God, The Way, The Truth the Life, Prince Of Peace, Lord Of Lord's,  King Of Kings Who became the Lowliest Servant, Perfect in all ways, Holy and Righteous, God's  only begotten Son who came to absolve all Mankinds Sin by taking the sin of all Man, Woman and Child of Today, Yesterday and Since The beginning of the World...I am humbly requesting Help me truly Live more for you, devote my Time more in your Word, Persue the things NOT of this World the things that which you want me to persue and live for create a way for me to have a more disciplined, holy, seek first you in all matters, resorting to prayer more, taking walks while thanking you for your love, mercy, forgiveness, faithfulness, pure, perfect, miraculous, righteous, everlasting grace and immortal truth that will forevermore from now till infinity be always a word that is the only way, the only truth and will remain in humanity collective soul and heart and immortal spirit indefinitely...for this World and this Heaven shall pass but there will be a New Heaven and a New Earth that will be Paradise Once Again for he has promised that the ones faithful to him the ones written in the Book Of Life the ones who choose to live profess and fear the name of the Lord and tell others show them the scriptures and love God first put him first and constantly feed their Spirit and starve their flesh ...repent as often as possible, love others like thyself, choose daily to purge themselves of the carnal pleasures of the flesh, believe without NO DOUBT that Jesus Is The Son Of God,  Came to Live, Choose To Die On The Cross for All Our Sin from the time when it got introduced to the World thru the Ancient Serpent "The Devil" till the time when Jesus Christ comes back and everyone who was is and is to come live, choose what they decide to follow, The Lord Or The World and finally die and be sent to Sheol till The Great White Judgement Day when it arrives and every deed of every person from every nation from Male to Female from Jew to Gentile will be there present in the presence of God, Jesus & The Holy Spirit and all his Heavenly Host will stand to face the Judge Of Every Soul from the first created to the last one to be created to live and pass on to the afterlife God Almighty will separate the righteous from the wicked will show you from your first offense "sin" committed by YOU to the very last ONE it is committed by the same person it is either washed by the blood of Jesus by living for him praying to him reading his word, putting it into practice, listening to the still, serene, peaceful, gentle and holy word from the Holy Spirit allowing it to slowly change you transform you and open up a channel from Us and Christ developing a relationship with Him because only they him we are redeemed, glorified and saved from the grips of Hell itself..."For Whosoever Calls In The Name Of The Lord Shall Be Saved" this requires Faith and Denying the World, Our Fleshly Desires, Doing Good always, Recognizing your sin and asking for forgiveness with intention to change by asking for strength and courage in times of trial and tribulation, trusting God and learning on him for council NOT your own understanding for we are weak, sinful and choose pleasure and comfort and ease succumbing to our Fleshly Desires to gratify what is here today but die tomorrow many times we do evil in the eyes of God knowing that it is wrong but we do it anyway to instantly gratify our minds, bodies and souls with a temporary pleasure at that moment in time and over time becomes a habit that grows with repetition feeding the flesh but hurting the spirit.  Lastly I want to give it to God in this prayer to aid me change the sinful things I struggle with daily, please grant me your mercy when I fall short in serving you, when I sin against others, myself and you I know you have NOT given up on me Lord therefore I NEVER wanna give up on you Lord. Thank you for guarding my Family, Friends and Aquaintances. I give you thanks for your love, mercy, forgiveness, grace, peace, faithfulness and holiness. Teach me how to pray for others more, to proclaim blessings and healing for them and their lives, help me fix my eyes more on Jesus, help me walk with integrity and truth, help me understand the bible the way you want me to and not just read it but put it into practice little by little incorporating it into my Life and Lord heal my relationship with my Family. Allow me to grow daily spiritually in truth and please I beg you to allow me to get closer to you. Heal me Lord in Mind, Soul and Spirit and please forgive your servant for my failures past, present and future. Thank You...in Jesus Name...Amen!

The Accuser Of Mankind wants to obliterate God's Word and Celestial Concepts of a Higher Order. Blasphemous Spirits are at work in High Places the World becoming more Animalistic more Demonic and Chaos Despair Peril and Destruction reign tall and mighty the current Earthly systems are turning Governments against each other violence, pestilence and wars are inevitable at this point...Nevertheless, the Righteous shall see the Lord Of Hosts descend from the Heavens to wage a Final Assault on the Tyrant Evil Dominions of the Earthly planes. Celestial Armadas Of Angelic beings will slay every single wicked soul who didn't turn to Christ nor believed in him. Then the AntiChrist The Devil and the False Prophet will be thrown to the pits of the Lake Of Fire and Sulfur. After a long exhausting battle there will be a Great White Judgement where the wicked and the righteous shall be judged. Then God's reign shall begin and be established for a Millennium. Beware of the ones who have come to say the Dark is Light and the Light is Dark...Woe to those in the last days who have chosen to pleasure their carnal bodies instead of serving God...dark days will come to Earth but don't lose faith brethren God is in control.