pieces of broken glasses
and me
in the middle
trying and trying
nothing I got rid of.
Saw faces
strangers that felt known
lovers
I onced thought I own
all of them pieces
smaller and bigger
I need to fit in
I want to throw up
why you're looking at me like that?
What once was great
is leaving me with cuts,
to get away
I'm leaving you behind,
to rise again
is to find who I am

Before we even met,
I wondered if it was

Wise to make the jump
And be led
On and fall in love,

When all that was
On the table was
Lust, entangled

With words that
Made me believe
you wanted more.

I tried my best
To open these
Doors,

And
Make the best
Out of something

Because you didn’t
Want more.

I tried to give
Myself every reason

To not believe
In love again

And now I’m certain
It’ll be awhile,

Because I’d rather
Be lonely than

To have my heart
Led on and broken
With you.

I break into a million pieces
sharp, attune, ready to puncture

Step all over my broken pieces and bleed into me
I want them to suffer as I have

as I lay sprawled out upon the bed
I stare at the empty spot where you used to be
I close my eyes and pretend you are still here
your chest raising and falling
your eyes twitching while you dream of other lands
I open my eyes and yet again you are gone
I just have to learn to live without you

"It will never be the same, I will never love again", I think.
My demons cascading through my mind, they dance with joy.
Self destruction is for dinner tonight
and even though it isnt my favourite meal
and even though its hard to swallow
I have no choice
but to
choke on it

"I liked your smile better
When you were younger,"
She said
I was tempted to ask why
But we both knew.