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Lisa Neu Feb 2015
I used to walk to the chapel often
    at least every weekend, sometimes more.
I'd gather up my friends and we'd head out.
    Sometimes there were 6 of us, sometimes only 2.
Walking to the chapel was an experience of freedom from our every day lives --
    from our schoolwork especially.
Walking to the chapel was an experience of living life to its fullness
    drinking in the smell of the water, of the trees, of the season.
Drinking in each other, and the friendship we shared.

Sometimes we walked to the chapel, sometimes we ran;
    Always the joy pouring out of us, the fresh energy of youth, and the
    raw emotion of our shared relationships.
We walked to the chapel, but then we also floated there:
    carried by our love of the land, the water, our curiosity, and each other.

Walking to the chapel was a sacred experience.

Tonight we walked to the chapel again;
This time a group of 5 --
two parents, three children -- together.
We smelled the water and the trees,
we felt the warm breeze.
We walked together -- one unit -- and yet each of us free.
The children running ahead, the baby carried.
The adults joined now in care not only of themselves,
but of the little ones they helped create.
The beauty of the place heightened by the beauty of being a family.
The emotions of days past, the joy, the freedom, the experience of life, they rise up.

We are a family.
    We exist to help each other.
We find joy, delight in one another.
    We are free to love life in all its glory;
    to be uniquely ourselves,
    and yet bound together in love.

Walking to the chapel as a family is dynamically life-giving,
    and an example of holiness.
Lisa Neu Feb 2015
Beautiful man.
Caring for me,
showing me compassion,
holding me,
listening to me.
My best friend,
my constant companion,
always close by,
paying attention to me.
My Tony.
Gift from God.
Beautiful.
My Love.
Lisa Neu Feb 2015
The pain of my childhood
   still hurts me.
Feeling alone, unwanted, unlovable.
Knowing other's joy of me came
   from my service to them.
Desperately wanting, needing
   to be loved for myself and
   not for what I could do.
Now, the unworthiness follows,
   lurks in the darkness.
   Waiting to grab me
   in a moment of weakness.
And yet, I live in HOPE!
   I can escape those demons,
   but it is an every day job
   of Resting in God,
         and knowing LOVE.
Lisa Neu Feb 2015
Music
   has the power
to stop my racing thoughts.
   To capture me in
         JOY.
To hold me patiently
   so I can BE
   in the shifting chaos
   around me.
MUSIC
   my solace,
   my peace.
Lisa Neu Feb 2015
Thrown off;
caught unaware.
My mind so full,
   I can't take in more.
Thinking,
Processing,
Trying to understand
   MYSELF
in the midst of
   new emotions and
   different sensations.
Who am I?
Why do I act this way?
What will I do next?
Unnerving:
   Realizing I don't
   know myself
   as I thought I did.
Unnerving:
   to see myself shaken,
   confused,
   surprised.
Seeking to integrate
   these newly-known
   parts of myself
   into the ME I know.
Lisa Neu Feb 2015
I like how it makes me feel
I hate how it makes me feel
I want to let the tension go
Yet, I want to stay, just a little.
Why?
Lisa Neu Feb 2015
You motioned
    I responded
You went ahead
    I followed
You disappeared
    I walked on --
    I checked for you,
    you were not there
I am challenged
    I want to understand
    I want the tension
    to break, or fall to
    a comfortable companionship
To bring the mystery closer,
    to swallow it
So that I can walk on
    and so can you
    united but apart.
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