If I could write to the past
Of all that has happened
Of all of what I went through
Of how everything happened so fast

So this to you
To the younger me
To the innocence
That no longer consumes me

Dear younger me
Of all the things I want to tell you
Words can not explain enough
Of what actually happened

Dear younger me
Would I tell how you will go through so much
So much pain
So much heartache
But you will come out so much stronger

Dear younger me
Would I think to tell you the truth
Of all those you will lose
Those who you thought would be there
But now are left confused
 

Dear younger me
Would I tell you of the places you will travel
Some creating your best memories
Or how others will still leave you up at night

Dear younger me
Oh how I want to protect you
To keep you shielded
From the dark

Dear younger me
Oh how I want to warn you
Of the dangers that lurk
Even in the most trusting smile

Dear younger me
With how much I would give
To be back in your shoes
Even just for a moment

But if even given a moment
I would change nothing

Dear younger me
You will go through hell and back
You will cry some nights until you fall asleep
You will witness things you wish you had never witness
You will try to die at your lowest moments at the age of 13

But do not be frighten

Dear younger me
While you are going through so much
While you feel left in the dark
That you have hit rock bottom
You will rise
Stronger than you have before

Dear younger me
While our life is not over yet
You will meet amazing people
Those who love you
When others wouldn’t

Dear younger me
You will see amazing things
Color brighter than you have before
You will feel peace at times

Dear younger me
Things are never perfect
But you will make it
You are better than you once imagined

Dear younger me
For all the things you wished you were told
For all the things you wished you had done
Even now
I wouldn’t change them for a younger me

when I was younger
home was the best place ever.
whether it was birthdays
which now feels like
a long-lost dream. since we lived in a tiny
house. a family of six huddled up together
in a tiny room to celebrate. maybe times
were simpler or maybe we didn’t have much then.

or on days, mum cooks
which always was a rarity.
she never played an active role
but our younger selves made sure
at the end, we’d be grateful.

things began to shift
when we grew older.

the happy house felt like a dark
gloomy one. smiles began to
be replaced by shoutings.
birthdays began to be less common
and sooner like we all imagined
it would become something
attached with the past.


when i became older
i tried becoming friends with
my younger self. somedays were
a disappointment. somedays we faked it.

I’m still trying to.

To know these thoughts
Pulling my mood to bleak
Each time my mind entertains
The notion and secret admiration
Unobtainable visions you are.

You might guess but I guard them
My pride and my aging acceptance
The denial and the hindsightedness
Bitterness so impotent and useless

Beautiful, You, and I  can't bring attention
I'm. Too old, too far past the moment
No. I must appreciate from afar
Stolen glances from forgettable interactions.

It's not a blameable situation
I am longful, going for eyes
that see inside and passed
The lines of time too clearly present
Hopef but for One whom tries for
Proximity and time by my side
and that is never yours to supply.

It ***** I am so far ahead of
My youthful desires
and the unsaid.

Yesterday   i
had  poison  in
some   local
fried     food.



It  happened
in  a  cyber  cafe
where  i  was
busy  in  ­searching
for  more  than
60  
social  media  sites.


I  ate  fe­w
amount  of  that
and  suddenly  could
know  it  that
it  is  
p­oisonous.




I  became
surprised  that
a  site  called
Badoo
is    popular  and
available  in  zoo  countries.


I  have  to
­ask   tomorrow
to  sun  and  my
younger
net-addicted  son.