The beginning of this
Break.
–Down
At its foundation
Fulfilling and self-reflective, and
Rousing and neurotic and bright
And perilous
–a fever-dream
¬¬¬
Shadows that have stopped forming,
      Dead
       All
The mornings are dead
The passion is dead
The feeling of the back of my neck –tiny hairs
      All
       Dead

That human side has halted
The “I-feel-like-a-*****-but-” thoughts, gone

All dreams
All barren, with less than profound meaning
******* dead, behind the wheel.
Car trapped
Inside of a sad self-absorption

A frozen-inlet, a fissure in the glass-jar
Road paved with the litter of the late
Night, bug-eyed witless carbon copy Phish fan
Grave yard shift –stick worn-down-brain
Lazily-littered, empty-shell of a
Bottle flung, down to the pavement

Down, into the gutter

Down, into sewer

Which sweeps, down into the **** Heavens
And sits
Down, endlessly
Dreaming only to return
Into life

The insanity
The heartbreak
The fears
The passions
The talent
The jokes
The sickness
The *******

Where it all starts
Where it all eventually sleeps
Where all of this **** came full circle
Where the mind can return
Where the body can lay,
Down

At the beginning of this.
Break.
–Down

The list of regrets
That I have is overwhelming
And my friends just don't understand
I'm a perfectionist
I over think my good deeds to death
Until they are no more than
A collection of moments where I could have done better
But there are tiny fragments of moments
That given the chance to slide back in time
I would just sit back and watch
And be proud of my choices
The list of things I don't regret:

1. All the boys I've dated
Because they taught me how I should
And shouldn't be treated

2. Breaking up with the boys I've dated
When I deserved better

3. when my ex best friend gave me a letter
Apologizing for all of the snide remarks
Subtle insults
Talking behind my back
And never sticking up for me
Claiming that all of the new friends that she has
Can't compare to me
I threw out her letter and false promises
Not because I finally brought myself to hate her
But because I was finally strong enough to love myself

4. Climbing onto my roof that first time
Though I got yelled at by my
Angry mother
I got to watch the stars
And escape my worries
I found my happy place

5. When one of my friends texted me
Crying on the floor of her room with the door locked
Fearing what was on the other side
And I told her the three things
I wish someone had of been there to tell me
It's not your fault
It's abuse
Call the police

6.When I was trying to explain
An important concept
And on the fourth try
Of my sentence
I finally caught the attention of they guy
On his phone
And his extremely teenage response was
"I'm listening. It's called multitasking.
Need me to give you an explanation of how I can do it sweetheart?"
And though I'm the quiet one who doesn't speak up
Without missing a beat I responded with
"No. I'd rather you give me your respect."
And from then on
I got it

7. When I let myself trust
The gorgeous girl I met
Because in my experience  
The pretty girls are the mean ones
But this one wasn't mean
She was my best friend

8. Though I had never gone as a kid
I applied to work at a camp
Though I didn't know anyone else going
I left with best friends
And the best summer of my life

9. When I read my first poem out loud
Shaking and lightheaded
Having just shared a piece of myself
And been accepted.

Is what you get

London Bridges falling down
Lest We forget
September Eleventh
Brooklyn Bridges falling down
Always We remember
In dedicated horror
Pearl Harbor
San Francisco Bridges falling down
From the sinking of the Lusitania
To genocide in Albania
Burning bridges
Fall
ing
Dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn  

Profoundly it dawns regardless of all that’s left behind. In my mind

All is fine

In every one-word world, exotic spaces' gradual state of life proclaimed as a melon . As the urges to divide the pleasures of the infernal forth from the happiness which has closed in to the square-shaped restless less rolling boxes. And what the treat is if all of the souls from the cypress take the higher breaths of the shrew and belabor them unto the points of humanity, uncivilized humanity that is quite bountifully.

During this autumnal abscission where the alizarin and pallid arms and edges, crooked and afraid, steep in the sullied tatterdemalion and the mysophilia that emimart