I still think about it on most days...
How I'm okay with how things have turned out for the most part... but there are days when I think back to that one time I said my piece and things haven't really been the same since.

How would I be right now if I never told you what I told you that night seven months ago?

I tend to wonder if you even mean the things you say to me because you know I mean what I say where my feelings for you are concerned.
Is it all mindless flirting? Do you think I'm playing? The things you send to me, how should I take them?

On most days, I think I'm okay; for the most part, I think we're good.
It just eats at me how something tells me you won't stay.

I hope she treats you well
because I haven't been good myself

talking on the phone
i think it's early morn
wishing i was fast asleep
but i guess there's nothing i want more

body full of aches
but your voice shakes the pain away

i think that it's been good
i guess
you and her
for you 's the best

i guess i can't quite accept
that my time well spent
was nothing
and

i like you
hell, i love you
but it's not me,
i see

i guess this is reality

Time is terrible
in the sense
that it is never
consistent.
It favors you
one moment
and betrays you
the next.
It gives you
hope
for a second—
crushing it
in an instant.
Years of happiness
can come
crumbling down
in a tick.

I think it's maddening
to think
that everything
is just fine.
Fine is suspicious.
Fine is everything
and nothing.
Fine is
sometimes
anything but.

In a moment
of fleeting silence,
I found a sense
of lasting peace

is ever evasive

and i often catch myself
bounding down
chasing
what fate
won't let me have

i worry a lot, i over-think; i’m sure there’s something you’re not telling me

9 pm
“Good morning! I hope your day goes well!”
You once said
that I brightened your mornings.

10 pm
Just wait a bit.

11 pm
Just a little bit more,
it *is a different time zone.

12 mn
What time do I have to wake up again?

1 am
Where are you?

2 am
I’m tired.
I’ll wait.
How are you?

3 am
My eyes are burning.
“Well, I hope your day
is going well.”
             —i love you
I signed off with that.
             —you don’t care anymore

7 am
I’m getting ready for my day
now.
I’m late already.
I’ll just check my phone later.

1 New Message
Received: 5 am
“my day is ok.”