I told you I wouldn't allow someone to hurt me before And you promised you wouldn't be the one You said you'd protect me And not let anyone lay a finger on me But you ended up hurting me most More than anyone has ever before
I know I should leave Because that would be best for me But I love you so much It hurts lesser to be bruised than to live a life without you
I'm in pain But I can't tell which brings me more pain
Peering at the sea view over the balcony from the room, Like the strong waves crashing against the shore, With each passing feeling, one hitting harder than the one before. I'm not the only one in the room, But I've never felt so alone before.
As I lay awake at 4am tonight, I ponder hard about all that's going on in my life.
Am I the only troubled one with not a clue on where to go in mind, Or have I been abandoned and left behind.
Because as I lay awake tonight, Looking at the only constant, troubles, in my life I'm starting to think that perhaps death has a heart, For always following me closely behind.
I've never been too fond of taking pictures of the boundless sky Not because it's not beautiful, it is.
I've never seen anything quite like the constellation of stars, How they line up, Waiting for us to decipher what the universe have in store for us Or how the moon always seems to be looking out for me, Following me silently wherever I go.
But why would I want to spend my time trying to capture something that's so far away when I've got you so much closer, Whom's equally magnificent.
Like how the waves comes crashing on the shore, Each wave hitting harder than the one before, I now know that you don't need water to feel like you're drowning. My guilt swallow me whole.
The first night is always the hardest. And you thought that maybe the second might be easier, So will the following.
Perhaps you'll get used to it gradually But that's not true.
It cuts deep every time you wake up, Having to accept the reality all over again. You're on a perpetual suicide Except that you wake up instead of die.
What happened to "through thick and thin" Or those "I'm just 8 digits away" promises?
You used to be the first I'd turn to Despite whatever obstacles I've faced, No doubt the first I'd share my joy to too.
But it seems like the older we've grown, The further apart we get too. Every now and then I look back at what we used to be I find myself thinking man, I wish things will go back to the same.
I know that change is inevitable, I only can hope that this change would be for the better. If there's any pain that comes along with it, Well it better be worth it.