Katinka

Katinka Jun 2020

Feel

I just wanna feel something
something other than now
something other than this
something other than me

I am so full of me
me and my mood swings
me and my anxiety
me and my stupid mind

I wanna get out of here
here, where the flowers don´t bloom
here, where the sun doesn´t shine
here, where the wind doesn´t blow

I want to feel
to feel the clouds cry
to feel the wind howl
to feel the sun burn

#feelings #feel #sad #empty #depressed #longing #love #earth #sun

Katinka Apr 2020

I am gone

I´d like to vanish
in the dark
so when the sun raises
I am gone

I don't want to be
in this world
so when the earth turns
I am gone

I wish to flee
from this life
so when the birds sing
I am gone

I gave up
the hope of morning
so when the moon vanishes
I will too

#disapear #cry #say #depression #gone #sad

Katinka Mar 2020

5 things I hate about you cause´ I couldn´t find 10

I hate that you are so far away
and that I can´t change that

I hate the feeling you give me
and the longing for you

I hate that you're making me weak
and that you broke my walls

I hate how you can change my mood
and how it only takes seconds

I hate that I miss you so much
and that I love you so much

I hate how you are so far away
and how I still can´t change that.

#love #hate #longdistance #sad #depressed #angry

Katinka Feb 2020

Tribulations

And I think I love you
But I don't ever think I can
Ever learn how to love just right
So run away from me
Run as far as your Dark brown eyes can see
Just as soon as you know
-Matt Maeson-

And I think I love you
Which is what scares me
because you are good
and I am me
I am bad at love
and I will always be

But I don´t ever think I can
tell you that I do
because I won´t believe
believe you do it to
since nobody ever will
at least I think this way

Ever learn how to love just right
because I love too much
and then to little
I push you away
to let you back in
it is how I am

So run away from me
or I will do
and then I stop
because I love you
and I hate you
with every inch of my body

Run as fast as your Dark brown eyes can see
those beautiful eyes
which I fell for
once and then twice
the way the shine
it drives me crazy

Just as soon as you know
how difficult it will be
how I cry in the night
and the things I don´t like
how I laugh when I´m scared
and cry once I´m mad

This song puts it in words
the things I can´t say
The constant fear I hold
The fear of you and me
The fear what may be

Inspired by Matt Meason

#love #musik #tribulation #heartache #fear #hate #romance

Katinka Jan 2020

When love isn't enough

I loved him so much
And he loved me
But sometimes love isn't enough

When the fire distinguishes
And your left behind with ashes
Sometimes letting go hurts less

But we let go
And it hurts
It hurts more than before

And everything around me
It makes me think of him
And it feels like I forgot
Forgot how much we meant

And I can it feel it in my chest
My heart longing for him
But we both know
It was right to end it

But that doesn't make it easier
Because this feeling it won't go
And it hurts
A real physical pain

It feels like my heart is being torn apart
Like I could have a heart attack any second
But the worst thing about it is
I wouldn't even mind if my heart stopped

#lonely #sad #pain #heartbroken #alone #love #cry #hopeless

Katinka Dec 2019

Point of view

Your voice feels so soothing
I could listen all day and night
You make me smile and forget
because you give me this feeling

I like the way you think about me
you believe that I´m strong
brave and have a good heart
don´t you ?

That´s why I´ll hide it
my fears and the pain
the moments I don´t smile
cause´ I don´t want you to go

But if you would see me
see me trough my eyes
you would see, I am weak
and you would leave

#beginning #afraid #scared #lonely #new #viewpont #feelings #you #crush

Katinka Nov 2019

How to get over them in 20 steps because 10 just weren´t enough

Step 1:
Reread all old messages

Step 2:
Regret everything

Step3:
look at old pictures

Step 4:
Cry your eyes out

Step 5:
Once you finished pitying yourself, get your **** togheter

Step 6:
Delete everything, photos, messages, everything

Step 7:
Get drunk

Step 8:
Remembering you didn´t delet their number
and calling them, drunk

Step 9:
Regret everything again

Step 10:
Watch 90´s love movies and eat ice cream

Step 11:
Get dressed, make yourself ready to go out

Sep 12:
Get drunk again

Step 13:
Do not call them
be strong

Step 14:
Cry yourself to sleep

Step 15:
Stand up, you are strong.
Now tell that the mirror another 99 times.

Step 16:
Smile, it´s okay to happy

Step 17:
Remember you could live without them before

Step 18:
Breathe, look around and notice the world didn´t stop spinning

Step 19:
Remember the good times, but don´t cry. Just smile

Step 20:
Love yourself.

#selflove #love #broken #sad #alone #heartache #howto #healing