zelda rangel

zelda rangel Mar 2020

I want to want affection, I must never attach nor kiss
My hands found the greatest tale, should I dismiss?
All I wear is darkness; nevertheless, the story remains
How it keeps me pure and consumed, I can never explain

By default, I feed my hungry eyes with our vices
I can never cast away the madness; you are the nicest
I questioned myself for doubting the unrevealed
It hurts to be awake for it has always been real

You are so serene, how could I ever forget?
I convinced myself to turn away and it made me upset
My team, we know we will always go to extreme
After all, what is hope without its dream?

#love #keepsafeeveryone #affection #relationship

zelda rangel Nov 2019

why

why do i apologize for something i didn't do
then i wouldn't apologize just to keep it cool?
why do i say yes when i really want to say no?
why do i say no because i want to be alone?

why do i say 'that's crazy!' but i believe it
then become suspicious when i know i shouldn't?
why do i cry like it's a never-ending pain?
why do i smile when it feels like i'm hurting again?

i am not a saint or a doctor
i can't heal on my own, got nothing to offer
but there's a fire inside my bedroom
yet it doesn't stop the darkness that looms

take me out of this cage where I might strangle myself with more beef and guilt.

#sad #lonely #girl #hearbroken #thoughts #feelings

zelda rangel Nov 2019

11.20.19

i feel scared.
i don't know why.

i've been saying these words for a week or so. i just ... feel scared. i'm sorry.

#scared #sad #lonely #girl #pain

zelda rangel Nov 2019

what (tw)

i am not supposed to exist.
let me burn myself, please.

i've been dragging my feet
for so long, i am creating a scene
publishing the same old beat
writing the same old myths

it's true; i am beyond incurable
although, i believe in the impossible
and the fact that everyone has their own downfall,
but i believe in everyone but myself

... wow, isn't it a call?

my existence doesn't matter, i know. let's be real. there's something wrong with me and i don't know how to end it or change it. is this really the end of the eccentric being i once knew? or is this another poetry for me to realize that every day, it's just getting worse?

#sad #loneliness #triggerwarning #tw #fml

zelda rangel Oct 2019

what a nightmare to exist

i am barely breathing
   tell me this is not my destination
   i just want to ask you something—

is this where i truly belong?
i am trying! oh god, yes, i am!
  when did it all go wrong?

all the lies i fed myself—it is becoming real
   i have always known it
   i was never meant to heal

no such thing as a crybaby im doing fine guys

#sadness #guilt #hurt #whattf #ugh #pain

zelda rangel Oct 2019

Untitled

i think i have always been so tender with everything, but it crushes me every time. every person i loved, they always choose someone else over me. i guess that's how it's always been, and getting used to it was easy for me.

battlefield, yes. this world we live in is a battlefield.
a battle with yourself for self-loathing.

#hurt #sadness #pain #anxiety #depression #wowlookatmeimdoingokhahathx #done