Only you'll find the beauty of the end
when the process of going up
weighed you down
cutting ties with backstabbers
to remove the drama that goes along with it
you'll be known as an outcast
an exile to a life
that's not meant for your precious heart
and as you slowly loosen the grip
of the hands that betrayed you
you'll make room
for the peace that awaits at the end
and only that can make you realize
the true meaning of
A Beautiful Escape

the night is silver
air, her dark ink
flowing like a pen, her
aches and sinews, water-
born, melted out of sky.
there is no cage

to hold the bird, page-like,
built out of river and
dream, it is free to fly,
carry the green of
the trickling leaves to the
rain-heavy cloud.

february builds her palaces
of love, a pretty rose,
a sentimental card,
a rain-sweetened kiss.

we are as full of the night
as a poem, our lips glazed
red, our hearts glowing
golden gathering petals
and sky.

What is it about winter
Sounds are magnified
Voices outside are louder

Barking sound of dogs
Echoing in the cold
Bitter winds blowing
Snow getting deeper and deeper

Frozen lakes and frozen hands
Chapped hands and lips

Silence comes
Over blankets
Of white

A crisp snow covered branch
A crunch in the snow
Waiting for a
New Day

i still remember her braless
in the summer sun of Vilano beach
she's just wrapped in my undershirt
and glowing in the Spanish wind
she still lives in the tunnels
way down below my heart

we couldn't find wifi
in her apartment so i knelt
at her alter in the whirling dark
but she kept me
at arm's length and touched me
only with her fingertips as if
i was particles in a braille warning
her fingerprints smelled like menthols
i can still taste her skin on my teeth

i slipped just as she caught her footing
she stood silent and true on the raised edge
she said she was looking for something to
hold onto, "well, what about me," i asked
but her fingers just formed rings around my eyes
to dam the water there she cut the string
that was always between us
she laughed as i was on my way down
through the vines i saw her rising
toward the ceiling

and now any time i make love to someone else
she comes to me projected on any bedroom or
back alley wall she opens my chest
so the Spanish wind can escape
and shows me the places
she inserted the blade

I crave intimacy
Not the type that subconsciously comes to mind -
The connection
Between one soul,
To another  
Bleeding pure, genuine
Devotion.
I crave fidelity
An enduring exchange
I don't want to be physically touched;
I want to feel my internal organs
Spark.
I want to embrace it  
Savoring every moment

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

i spent my life trying to please
someone with a twisted disease
i broke myself down
and tucked my feelings away
to become the person
they wanted me to be
i let myself be watched
through the glass of a two sided mirror
of a sociopath
i wallowed my spirit away
and begged for acceptance
but there’s nothing in the world
that i could do
to let the narcissist know
that i am human too

I wonder about the man with roses
if he still get kisses at the parade.

And I wonder about the boy with best intentions
and the plans that he mislaid.

On a separate coast from each of them
I put carnations in a spare green vase.

I could paint such wonders for the next three years
or leave my hopes in a remembered place.