Every Tuesday I take a trip to the train station.
I pack all that I have, as heavy as it may be
       set it upon my back
                           then begin my journey.
I stop at times when it all seems like it is too much
                     and try to adjust my cargo
But I realize that I am only slowing myself down
              when I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
    I fake a smile, for undergoing such a weight is pain
    I breathe in deep and count my steps, fearing that I will only drown and what I have been holding back.
     I have a choice between going nowhere and going somewhere

So I choose.

And instead of hiding or quitting
                I let my burdened baggage go
I open my suitcase, like an old wound
     Lift out what has been tattered and torn
     And set my burdened cargo free to the wind
     I face what I must, and find strength in what I am tossed and thrown aside
     I noticed the stares as overlookers pass
  But I give them a smile and stand up a little taller
     For when that is done, I have reached the station

you know those hills
that you take with
your car
and it sends your
guts into your heart?

yeah, i wanna
live life
like that.

You look to the clock and wait for the bell
Work set aside for thoughts of tomorrow
Unable to endure the rest of this class
This day
This year
You view high school as the dark  tunnel of your youth
And ask if there's a light at the end
You lose the purpose among other things
Though constantly haunted by reminders of grades
College
SATs
Taken over by stress
And eaten away by  uncertainty
Forced to test your comedic abilities
But
You are built with the power of strength
Knowledge
Patience
And each day you grow in these attributes
Maximize your potential
Take weaknesses to your advantage
Now, you look to the clock and wait
Wait for the future you shaped in this class
This day
This year.

I can only hope that you can understand the message in my eyes.

I don't need to look into a mirror to see that I'm turning into you.
I already know that I am slowly deteriorating.
Nightmares plague me,
So horrible I am trembling and barely breathing when I wake.
There isn't a single person who makes me feel safe.
You always told me you were wary of everyone.
Including yourself.
The words that fall from my lips are formal, protected, carefully calculated.
My words sound like their coming from your mouth,
Like you have possessed me and will never let me free.
The wanderlust is the most painful.
I'm pulled by the sharp knife twisted into my gut.
Wanderlust makes me reckless. Wanderlust slowly kills me.
Tell me, darling,
Am I haunting you like you're haunting me?
The further we are apart, the more we see we are alike.
Before too long you'll look in the mirror.
You'll see my face instead of your own.

Stop telling me the lies I know you spill,
Stop telling me the lies I once believed as truth.
Tell me what you mean, what you're objective is
because I don't understand.
What is the point in arguing a matter that won't change?
What is the point of constantly yelling about things that won't be fixed?
I'm not stopping what I do,
I'm not stopping my beliefs.
I am me, I can be me
meaning I have the power and capability to shut. you. down.
I don't because thats petty,
because thats not who I am.
I'm fun loving and free spirited [-to most]
Now I know, the statements above seem a bit contradicting
but maybe that's the point.
Like I said, I'm doing what I want and keeping what is okay for me to have.
Because in the end, *we'll see who's by my side

i wanted to say
beautiful things
but they got stuck
in my throat
so I choked them
back down like
***** in your mouth
and I forgot them
just like that-
fuzzy memories
of better days
and better ways,
but we'll always
have tomorrow
to waste, like today,
next year, maybe
where we're going,
where we've been
doesn't matter
because the fish
aren't biting like
they used to
but the beer
is still going
down smooth
and that's beauty
in itself.

This place is numbing. This place is overwhelming.
Rumors say that this is the place dreams o to die.
What happened to the streets paved with gold?
I have to get out. I have to get out!
I can recognize every face I pass on the sidewalk,
And I know that every face recognizes me.
I can't live like that. I can't live like that!
If my face is known, my mistakes are remembered.
But I cannot remember their mistakes because I'm dwelling on my own.
I fear if I remain much longer, I will die if their hatred doesn't **** me first.