lights are out
and I’m isolated
prone to elaborate
about my rattling thoughts
with a skin that smothers
and a burning tongue
just to keep me sane
to calm the night, I leave
my thoughts echoing the room
as a way to distract myself
from solitude
and my eyes are breaking down
featured a mood that’s slowly
catching up with their colors
as they turn blue in all its scales
as I wait for my memory to shed a new skin
leaving a peace of mind – away from such hollows

let me play with tongues
of sins and forgiveness
where words slip and lips utter
verses & cusses,
altogether!
and I am of heavy influence
pray then sin - and viceversa!
for the next ninety-nine days,
I am the holy angel but a mere devil

it’s like your words send rain
that washes the earth
of all aches
and leaves it clean as a mirror
then the scented light emerges
wilted plants yet manage to grow again
and you’re all sleepy eyes & bashful
maybe because we're both transparent
& the sun’s staring right through us
instead of curling up in fear
you embrace the warmth of the invader
you’ve always been that way
which brings others to heavy merriment
but with a question of
how can one remain innocent by nature
that serves nothing to the art of cynicism

I am numbed by the loss of companions & loved ones,

all set out to fulfill their destinies

in continents of unfamiliar names;                  trackless wastelands.

I am on a self-discovery, in ruins…

                                               whereabouts remain unstated.

i've digested crimson tiles off your bathroom floor just to get a reaction;
an influence for the perception of acceptance.
does it at least hinder or unsettle you, the red that runs down my face?
lower than low; close to invoke
even when the color’s close to my chest,
it ceased to disturb.
i've only existed behind someones else's eyes for so long  
i need to shut my own lids next to you till I’m out of a blur.
your sphere of smeared wallpapers close in on you,
i claim what you walked out of —
a circle that rounds your comfort.
you’re boiling in a shade that reflects what I’ve stained myself with.
the room is in fragments; a gore and scene of demolishment
reminds you of a cancer burnt unseen.
hands of guilt washed with mournful streams of survival
you find drops of me left in the sink
i’m a mere nosebleed,
you recollect me off your floor thrown
into the blackness of the back of your head,
that you rest and rest, as you lie down,
until you’ve forgotten all about me

**** to the bone
inhibiting you is the “gospel”
you’ve only ever known & it’s been
preached down your pureness
now the moon is bleaker than ever
scars decorating your chest
& sin’s throned your shadow
how come your eyes are even turning blacker?
you’re distorted like the sheep they’ve lead
and the confession you attempt to shed
oh, how loaded and heavy
it trips over your vocal chords
“pray for me,
for you possess the sincerity to heaven’s doors”
entrust & I shall vow to you my open skull -
your bucket of absolution
which you'll feed on ..
the path of truth
till its final morsel — the void & bones
of a hunger-fed wolf

i've slipped on the attitude
to lure in then drift off
the "ideal you" into oblivion
now that nothing's the same
and all is stripped down
in its natural clean state
you can thank me later
with a pragmatic crown

your light woke me up
like a passive blessing
you breathe into my being
I’m reborn right after sleep
& your existence - you being here
is my make-belief

inside a bad mouth
rests an ashtray
lack of movement
reek of red-tainted cigarettes
sore and left with spit
scratched out beyond all recognition

Face twitching in laughter with spilled blue ink stored eyes that await the drought. Laugh it off and hold your structure from breaking down. The child in you is shifting between bedridden negligence and swell spent playground evenings. Dragonflies circling your abdomen - you\ve been nervous; ached for the past flash light of years. A guilty mishap shaped by a mother’s palms and dusted off by a father’s words. Her mental abortion, and his physical disappointment; The stigmatic product. Such black thoughts will fade into the whiteness of snow, but happiness is eventually cursed with superstition. Those who crossed you breathe, while you barely manage your way to it. About to tie an apology around your neck, it occurs to you, how just yesterday you thought to yourself exuberantly that hot showers on sunny winters are to live for; How ironic.

this virulent tongue of yours
ought to be split in twos
one for you to choke on
condemning your insides to disintegrate
and the other left a souvenir for my keeping
paraded for the others as a blatant threat

The sun’s awfully rude,

it’s splaying his flaws and exposing them

to get perceived by everyone

and I can tell his self-esteem is bruised.

My palms close in on his face,

and shields it instead of mine.

“Oh, the reminder’s the light, you’re the highlight of my life,

& I know by default, you’d presume so.”

- My hands throw back the echoes of his voice.

The whole nine yards are stretching out into desperation,

If only I can carry him to a better mood.

let’s drink cyanide milk
to enhance our bodies & ribcages.
let’s melt with infatuation
and forever call it “love"
as we keep it in heart as an understatement,
                                                 ­       & a blanketing term.

Without vulnerability,
I don't know who I am.
I grabbed this cotton
beating deep in my chest,
& hid it away as a self-defense mechanism.
No exposure, much less pain.