I saw you
Through the screen
On that second
Why did I think
It was meant to be

Now read from bottom to top.

She was my shelter;

But she was also the storm

I’m too smart to fail
I’m too good to mess up
I’m too pretty to be insecure
I’m too talented to be doubtful
I’m too perfect to be anxious
I’m too loved to hate myself

I wish this was the truth.

To finish your own life by hand,
May seem like the right thing to do.
But to free yourself from this land,
Is to imprison those that love you.

I could never understand
What could force someone
To harm their sacred vessel
To take a knife to their canvas
Painting it the deepest red

But then again
My skies are blue
And theirs is gray
So maybe I don't understand
But I want to try

7/23/2021

Tonight
I will not be sleeping
till I write the words
that are keeping
me awake

Tonight
I’ll make the most
of a late night evening
and by the morning
waiting
for you to wake

Tonight
Who’d have thought
I’ll be weeping
while you’re dreaming
words too late

Tonight
while gone
I keep writing
alone and grieving
words I wish I wrote
and now reaping
your fate

I don’t want to
Open my mouth
Because I’m still afraid
The truth might come out
And if it does
If it really breaks free
You’ll see what I am
You’ll see the true me
The one I hide
With jokes and lies
I’m a terrible person
All jokes aside
You don’t seem to know it
You don’t seem to see
Even a glimpse of that person
That I know to be me
I’m such a good actress
I hide it so well
Cover it with a laugh
And you’ll never tell
You see depth in my eyes
You see love and emotion
But what would you see
If I ever did open
I can’t bear to find out
I can’t bear to show
The me you don’t see
The me that I know
If I let it out
If I let it be
I know for a fact
That you would hate me.

613 200 Hours
25 550 Days
13 Cars
11 Jobs
9 Dogs
6 Surgeries
5 Children
4 Grandchildren
3 Marriages
2 Siblings
1 Weary soul.
No regrets.

With this hand,
i will lift your sorrows,
Your cup will never empty,
for i will be your wine,
With this candle,
I will light you way in darkness,
With this ring,
I ask you to be mine.